Laptop Here

Well, not here. No, right now I'm stuck in the trunk of a rental car, being carted twelve hours cross-country to Utah, so that even while she's on vacation Kiersten can taptaptap away on my poor, worn out keyboard.

For the love of DOS, woman, give me a break. You're going to a wedding! You don't need me around. But at least I'll get to see this:

Clearly Kiersten is not the pretty sister. Maybe she'll loan me to this one?

Anyway. No doubt Kiersten will sneak off with her mom's precious little Macbook to canoodle and fool around (with the webcam). I'm supposed to ask if you'd like her to do a vlog, and if so, what you would like her to talk about. The less I see of Kiersten, the better, and I'm sure you feel the same way.

You know what I'd like to see more of? DAYLIGHT. Please, Hot Stuff, drive faster.

My Brain is a Puddle of Gelatinous Worthlessness

So, this one time, my friend Stephanie Perkins was doing NaNo, and asked for a few challenges that were insane but doable, so I gave her some, and then she wrote forty thousand words in under five days.

Wait, that can't be right. Nope, that's exactly right. She's brilliant, she's adorable, and she's freaking insane.

But, see, I kinda had to take some challenges of my own. Nothing as insane as hers, because I very literally can't write that much (see yesterday's daily schedule), but definitely enough to push me. I've got a very firm December 3rd deadline for the first 70k word draft of ExtraOrdinary*. Which gives me fifteen days in which to write 35k more words. During which I will travel out of town, attend a wedding, go over my copyedited Paranormalcy manuscript, do Thanksgiving...so yeah, nothing else going on! Should be a breeze.

Anyway. I'm rambling. Remember what I said about either being a great writer or a funny blogger? I'm draining the funny well into ExtraOrdinary. Which I know doesn't benefit you right now, but I'm very hopeful someday, when you read the sequel, you'll remember and thank me. Let's think in the long-term, here. This boring, rambling blog post is FOR YOUR OWN GOOD, gentle readers.

In the meantime, you can check out a semi-coherent interview I did with the lovely Mireyah here, in which I go off on what I think about writing for teens. As for me, I must. sleep. more. I mean, write. Must write.

*The actual first draft is due April 1st, but I want a lot of breathing room to stew and think things over and edit before I send it to Erica.

Getting a Book Deal CHANGES EVERYTHING

I am overwhelmingly grateful for my book deal. It definitely ranks up there among the Best Things that Have Ever Happened to Me, along with being born to awesome parents and meeting Hot Stuff. So, I thought I'd give you a glimpse into just how much my life has changed since I got my deal. I'll use last Thursday as an example, even though I don't get Big German Book Deals every day. (Personally, I think all mornings should start with a phone call about German book deal offers, but that's just me.)

1:00 AM--Collapse, exhausted, into bed after scratching out another 1200 words. Fall immediately asleep, only to be awoken at
1:30 AM--and accompany bawling Dojo to his room, because heaven forbid he wake up in the middle of the night to find me IN MY OWN BED. The horrors. The horrors. I am the worst mom ever for not sitting awake all night in his room.
3:30 AM--Wake up aching, sweaty, and cramped from falling asleep in the rocking chair while waiting for Dojo to fall asleep.
3:30 AM--Collapse, yet again, into bed.
6:30 AM--Weep tears of exhaustion as my kids come and demand I wake up. Except not really, because tears are futile in the face of their FEED ME NOW demands.
7:00 AM--Pretend to sleep on the couch and spin sweet dreams of a well-rested fantasy life. Finally get up and sneak into the kitchen to write a blog post before Dojo screams at me to come and watch Up with him for the five thousandth time.
8:00 AM--Answer the phone as I wrestle with Nayna to get her hair brushed. Find out about an incredible foreign rights deal. Laugh.
8:15 AM--Laugh some more as I pack daughter's lunch.
8:45 AM--Laugh some more.
9:10 AM--Panic as I realize that all of the laughing and dancing leaves me with ten minutes to dress myself and both kids before Nayna needs to be at school.
9:28 AM--Pull into school parking lot just in time, parking my tiny, ten-year-old Kia amidst the Lexuses, Buicks, and BMWs. Consider possible ways to work in my German book deal to conversations, but have only talked to the women next to me twice. No appropriate segue besides, "Hey, little Jonathon looks adorable today bythewayIamgoingtobepublishedinGermany. Do you know anything about the assembly tomorrow?" Decide I ought to have a shirt made, instead.
9:45 AM--Grocery store run for the two items that we inevitably run out of during the week.
10:00 AM--Home with Dojo, starting three hours of pretending like I might be able to write something, but actually just being dragged around by my All-Powerful and Rather Short Overlord. 34 lbs of pure whiny bossiness, that one.
11:00 AM--Finally get a hold of Hot Stuff to tell him about the deal. He's at work and all that ends up getting through is "Deal" and "Germany." He is forced to hang up, unsure whether I was talking about foreign rights or WW2 treaties.
12:00 PM--Realize I never got a chance to shower.
1:00 PM--Pick up Nayna from school.
1:30 PM to 6:00 PM--Count down until Hot Stuff comes home. Actually manage to communicate what happened to him. "Wow. Really, that's amazing. Wow." My thoughts exactly.
6:00 PM--Rush kids into car to go and pick Hot Stuff up from train station. Wish we had more than one car.
6:40 PM--Get home, throw something frozen together for dinner, listen to the kids whine about how they don't like it. At least Dojo didn't throw up again.
7:30 PM--Sit in the rocking chair until Dojo falls asleep.
8:30 PM--Stumble out of Dojo's room, having fallen asleep waiting. Again.
8:30 PM to 11:45 PM--Try to scratch out another chapter. Fail. Miserably.
12:00 AM--Collapse into bed, knowing it'll all start again the next day. But at least I have Germany...

So. Yeah. Did you notice that nowhere did the words flow magically from my fingertips? Turns out even when you have a book deal, writing is still hard, and finding time to write is even harder. And your kids still misbehave, even if you have a book deal (I know! What are they thinking??), and you still have to run errands, and you still have to clean (wait a second, you're thinking, there was nothing about cleaning, to which I respond, shut up, I don't want to talk about it), and you still make crappy dinners that no one, including yourself, wants to eat.

In short, while I think about my book deal constantly and always get warm fuzzies at the thought of my book being a BOOK in the not-too-distant future, life hasn't actually changed that much. It's like my wise friend Natalie said: Don't wait for something out of your control to happen in order to be happy. Start being happy now. Because those things that change your life forever? Well, your life is still your life afterward. It's just your life plus a husband, or a baby, or a book deal, or a chinchilla. (If, however, all you are waiting for to make your life complete is a chinchilla, by all means go buy one today!)

Life in all its monotonies is an awesome thing, and I'm grateful every single day for mine--but next book deal I'm totally holding out for a clause that states I never have to clean again. Now THAT would be life-changing.

Household Memos

The Body Edition

Dear Hair,

As requested, I have submitted evidence in the form of my birth certificate and drivers license, both legal documents clearly proving that my birth year is, in fact, 1983. Which makes me 26. Which makes me TOO FREAKING YOUNG FOR GRAY HAIRS. Please cease and desist production immediately, or I will be forced to pursue legal recourse.

Or, if you're looking for a change, go darker. I'm good with that.

Follicley Yours,
Kiersten

Dear Body,

Why do you insist on needed nine hours of sleep? Given the evidence of the last five-and-a-half years, that will never happen. Ever. Again. Please adjust to the attached updated sleeping schedule, requiring only four hours of sleep to feel like a human being.

Exhaustedly Yours,
Kiersten

Dear Immune System,

Have you been watching this video? Are you as freaked out as I am? I'd talk more, but I'm scheduled for an obsessive hand-washing session.

Germaphobically Yours,
Kiersten

PS Yes, I agree that DJ Lance Rock might still be more terrifying than the Ugly Germs. We won't let him attack you, either.

Dear Brain,

Please see memo to body re: sleep. We have a book to finish. Let's get on that. I'll bring the Dr Pepper if you'll bring the genius.

Determinedly Yours,
Kiersten

What's in a Name?

Or a word, even. I've been thinking about translation issues lately, specifically translation from English into, say, Polish or German.

No real reason.

I wonder how much of voice is language, how much of humor is culture and wordplay. Evie's a funny narrator (Kiersten says, very humbly and grateful that other people agree); how much of that will translate easily over? If she's shifted and squeezed and changed to come out another language on the other side, will her personality change, too?

I'm absolutely fascinated by this idea, how, by changing languages, we become different people. My sister knew a girl who grew up in another country speaking Spanish. When she moved here for college, she spoke strictly English, dating and eventually marrying someone who also spoke strictly English. I'll never forget the comment my sister made, saying, "I hope he knows that she's very different in English than she is in Spanish."

Obviously I'm totally dependent on language for self-expression. I like being able to precisely express myself, to play around with words and phrases for humor. I can't do that very well in other languages (okay, just singular other language, and it's been so long since I studied Spanish I probably can't do anything, period). So for someone who speaks both Polish or German and English to be able to take a book, a character, a voice, and translate them floors me.

I think it's incredible.

My only problem with the whole thing is that I won't be able to read and see what German Evie or Polish Evie is like. Because I'd love to meet them. Regardless, I'm grateful and amazed and thrilled that whole countries of people I couldn't communicate with will be able to meet my writing.

But here's something that really got my over-tired brain whirling last night: what if someone translated Paranormalcy into German, and then someone took that German version and translated it back into English? THAT would be interested to see.

Am I totally geeking out on my own here, or do you, too, ponder the mysteries of language and how they define us culturally?

We Interrupt Today

To bring you a very special announcement.

I SOLD IN GERMANY!! Paranormalcy and two sequels to Loewe Verlag, a fabulous publisher that is home to one of my favorite authors, Cornelia Funke. I'm so excited that they are going to bring Paranormalcy to a whole new audience!

Time to break out the lederhosen, folks.

As you can probably guess, I've been jumping around and dancing all day. Hooray for the Harper Children's foreign rights team! I love you ladies!!

And, of course, Ich liebe Deutschland!

Ephemeral Ideas

Kimberly Franklin asked recently where I get my blog content ideas. It goes a little something like this:

Kiersten skips through the fields of her brain (a decidedly scattered and chaotic place), nodding pleasantly to the book ideas, patting the friendly ones, chiding the impatient ones. She leans over the bank of her idea pool, watching as various threads swim, burrow through the mud, and leap out of the water. She pauses to remark to herself what a very odd visual image this is, and how she should probably get more sleep before coming up with extended metaphors. Still, several ideas in the pool look like they've grown enough to be of use. Using her lightning quick reflexes, she snatches them out of the pool and carries them (very gently, unless they are naughty ideas, in which case she whips them around a few times to try and get them to behave, since, after all, this is a strictly PG blog) over to the edge of the field, where this is waiting:What, you don't have dryers in your metaphorical brain landscapes?

She pops that beautiful machine open, throws in the ideas, and goes back to whatever she was doing before (odds are it was taking care of her kids or playing Bejeweled. Sad but true).

A few hours or days later, when I need a blog post, I pop my metaphorical dryer (tragically the only kind I own) open and whichever idea jumps out, totally dry and ready to go, I throw on the blog. Sometimes the dryer is so full things tumble out and it's all I can do to limit it to one a day.

Sometimes, like when I'm really into my writing, I open the dryer and there's just a tiny, shriveled idea, clanking around in there all by its lonesome, echoing self.

And then you get posts like this.

So, to answer your question in a way that actually makes sense, I usually have several ideas in the back of my mind. It's fairly random--I don't have a master plan, and I very rarely write blogposts ahead of time. I just pay attention and when something strikes me as funny or interesting, I tuck it away and hope that it might strike you as funny or interesting, too.

Now if you'll excuse me, the dryer is buzzing.

Guest Blogger

Today, in lieu of writing my own post, I've got a Very Special Guest Post for you. To preface, the man who wrote this is one of my heroes and always has been. For example, when I was a little girl and could see witches and monsters outside my window, they'd always be held at bay if he was around. When I was an older girl and dealing with monsters in my head, he'd always notice and help me work through things. He's supported me my entire life, and I don't think anyone was prouder or less surprised when I got my book deal.

I give you: My Dad.

Hi, Kiersten's dad here. First I must admit that I do not blog, blahg or blargh. I do faithfully follow Kiersten Writes and I absolutely love, love, love it! While Kiersten may not include many personal details, the blog is unmistakably Kiersten's personality! I also read each of your comments and enjoy them! I visit a few of your sites as well.

Also, I must admit is that I do not write. And (gasp) I don’t really read much. I very seldom finish reading a book. I start quite a few, but they do not hold my attention and get put on the shelf. The only books I finish are the ones where after a few chapters I lay in bed at night wondering what is going to happen to so-and-so and will happen next. I am happy to tell you that Paranormalcy fits into that category. I would lay awake in bed worrying about Evie and how she was going to survive, even though I knew there was a sequel planned!

Kiersten started preparing to write Paranormalcy before she was in kindergarten, writing (or drawing) creative stories. She begged for new books all through elementary, jr. high and high school. She asked for tickets to writers conferences for her birthdays. She devoured books and remembered all the characters and story lines. She read and wrote and read and wrote and never gave up. She would come out of her room sobbing because either a character died, or something wonderful happened to them.

I imagine I am describing most of you!

My main message is keep at it! I love your comments and I am sure that your families love seeing your creativity and personality on your blogs/blahgs/blarghs and in your writing.

Best of luck to all of you!

Sincerely,

Kiersten's Dad

There you have it. My dad says keep at it--so keep at it! (I know, best dad ever, huh?)

Also, I will never forgive Lucy Maude Montgomery for killing Matthew.

Hangover, Writer Style

I stumble to the counter, bleary-eyed as I wait for Laptop's eternal start-up to finish.

Ten minutes later I realize I've fallen asleep standing up, and Laptop is already blinking at me, waiting to go. And then I look at the couch, collapse onto it, and fall into oblivion punctuated only by meeting my kids' most basic physical needs.

Finally I make my way back to Laptop, and after the perfunctory email checks, go to the blog.

Something is wrong.

What is it? Why does looking at my list of followers suddenly trigger a pit of guilt in my stomach?

Oh. That's why. No post for today.

Look, guys, I'm a little...hungover. Last night I went out with my friends and, well, let's just say Coke was involved. The liquid kind, not the illegal kind. Because I am all about the legality, folks. So when I got home, I kinda maybe stayed up way, way too late.

I'm not really sure what happened. It's all a blur of questionable centaur tweets with Stephanie Perkins, random emails to my editor that may or may not have been coherent, and trolls.

Wait, there were trolls?

Yes, there were definitely trolls. Man. What a night. You know those ones, where your brain is just buzzing and the words fly from your fingertips and you finally hit 100 pages? Good nights.

Really good nights.

That lead to very, very bad mornings.

And in reference to my post yesterday, I am either one of two things: a very interesting blogger, or a very good writer. And now that the writing is back on track, well, you're gonna get posts like this one.

Now if someone can just email me a nap, I'll be your best friend foreverandeverandever.

To Blog, Blahg, or Blargh

The Blog. One of the greatest literary inventions of the...

Wait, which century did blogs start in, anyway?

Ah well. So much for waxing hyperbolic. But I've been thinking a lot about blogs lately, triggered in part by my visit with my publisher last month. One of the things that everyone (from marketing to the President of Harper Children's) brought up was my blog.

They loved it.

Which kind of made me giggle, since most of the time my blog borders on ridiculous. But, believe it or not, there is method to my madness. I've got a plan. I've got a focus. And my blog reflects that. However, before I go into the Wonder that is my Blog (oh, crap, Carrie's blog is the Wonder...gotta come up with another ridiculously inaccurate title), I thought I'd spotlight three types of blogs.

TeenBlogger, my favorite girly magazine, complete with perfume samples and free background templates, recently published the following quiz:

What's Your Bloggy Style?

1. Most of your posts
a) ramble about friends, what you did with them, and what you ate for lunch
b) rage against the injustices of [school, work, the publishing industry, etc.]
c) read like a fun, short essay--there's a point, and every paragraph supports it

2. If a stranger were to read your blog, they would
a) quickly grow tired of references to people and things they don't know about
b) either agree passionately with you (YES! [insert thing here] IS THE WORST THING EVER) or be turned off by your aggressiveness
c) be able to follow along and enjoy that day's post without any background reading

3. Your blog features
a) backgrounds so busy with patterns and butterflies and flowers it makes readers a bit dizzy
b) paragraphs so long they're like a big, black stain on the page, bludgeoning your readers
c) regular posts with fairly consistent tone and topic

Okay, TeenBloggers, are you ready to find out your bloggy style? Just count up your answers!

Mostly a: Congratulations, you have a Blahg! As in, blah, blah, blah. This isn't a bad thing, though! As long as your target audience is friends and family, they'll enjoy your personal ramblings and love your funny photos. Blahgs are a great way to practice storytelling and save time emailing everyone your latest funny tale.

Mostly b: Congratulations, you have a Blargh! As in, ARGH! I AM SO INTO RAGING ON THE INTERNET! Blarghs are both cathartic and fun, giving you an arena to vent your frustrations. Although the comments can be both satisfying and enraging, that's kind of the point of a Blargh. However, Blarghs may come back to bite you in your cute little butt should you rage on something you maybe sort of shouldn't have and the wrong person reads it. Still, it's your Argh. Own it, baby.

Mostly c: Congratulations, you have a Blog! Regardless of your particular "theme," your blog is focused, easily read, and has broad appeal. You may not be able to tell endless stories of what your adorable Puddlekins, hamster extraordinare, did the other day, but you'll probably attract a loyal following and have a professional blog to boot.

Whew. Thanks, TeenBlogger, for yet another scintillating look at blogging today!

So, what did you get? And, umm, you do know I'm being facetious, right? Right. The point of this is, if you have a blog you are hoping to use as a sort of platform, good for you! Publishers like that. They really, really do. But...and here's the but...it means you may have to give up blahging and blarghing.

You might not think it matters right now if you are unagented/unpublished. But you never know who will find your blog, or when they'll look. Say, for example, you write a parody screenplay for a Teen Drama. Just for fun, of course. Imagine your embarrassment when an actual television producer looks you up and reads it!

Not that, uh, I have any experience with that.

But really, you never know who will read what on your blog. I can't imagine how devastating it would be to have an editor considering your book, only to visit your blog and see you ripping into one of the books they edited. Guess how much they're going to like you then? And trust me, editors and agents do read blogs. Maybe not every day (Hi, Michelle and Erica! What's up? I adore you both), but they'll look you up.

So, I give you my personal tips for creating a blog that is not only fun to write (because if you aren't having fun, why are you blogging?), but will be a bonus when, in the glorious and hopefully not-too-distant future, you get a book deal.

1. Focus. What is your blog about? It doesn't have to be about writing (mine usually isn't), as long as it has a general focus. Not every single post has to be under that focus, but in general, does your blog have a theme and a voice? It is writing, after all, and the same rules apply.

2. Personality. What is the tone of your blog? I've gotten a lot of comments (and trust me, each and every one makes my heart burn with the heat of a million extremely grateful and humble suns) that basically say the person is excited to read Paranormalcy because they enjoy my blog.

While I don't go into personal specifics that I think most people wouldn't be interested in (for example, my baby sister's upcoming wedding, or my son's design for a car that includes "a machine that will grab people and give them butterfly stamps"), I am personal. If you feel like you know me by reading my blog, you do. And I'm glad you feel that way. Because I like you, too! (Seriously. Being a stay-at-home mom is kind of a lonely business, and I'm so glad people are willing to interact with me here.)

Do be careful what you put on your blog. Things that are too personal can be a bit overwhelming. I know, I know, this coming from the woman who put a cartoon illustration of her internal reproductive organs in a post. (No, I'm not going to link to it.) But there is method to my madness, and I promise I do carefully consider what I put up and what I don't.

3. Writing. And this is probably the most important of all. Regardless of what topics you post on, blogging is still writing, and you should be careful what writing you are showing the world. Proof-read. Write as clearly and concisely as possible (Kiersten says, knowing full well this post is verging on ridiculously long already). There's never an excuse for sloppy writing, because even if no one is reading your blog now, that doesn't mean they won't be soon. Plus, blogs are great practice.

4. Consistency. Whether you blog once a day or once a week, be regular. If you don't blog regularly, people will stop checking.

Hopefully this is helpful. Because sitting around that table with fifteen publishing professionals, I was really glad that my blog was something they saw as beneficial rather than detrimental.

After all, I'm having fun, and hopefully my readers are, too.

(Okay, you are all now excused to search my archives for that cartoon.)

Hooray!/Finally

Several people have turned me on to this news:

http://georgiamcbridebooks.wordpress.com/

I'll quote the most important part: "St. Martin’s Press is actively looking for great, new, cutting edge YA with protagonists who are slightly older and can appeal to an adult audience. Since twenty-somethings are happily reading YA, St. Martin’s Press is seeking YA that can be published and marketed as adult; kind of an 'older YA' or 'new adult.'"

I'm so happy that publishers are realizing this is an untapped market. It used to be you went from children's novels to adult books. Then YA came in and created a whole new category for teenagers. I'm hopeful that this trend will continue, giving older young adults (and young adults who like to read up) their own genre.

Many of you know that Paranormalcy is not the book I signed with my agent for. That book, Flash, was well-received but ultimately rejected because of one thing: the main characters were "too old" for YA. I get that--most YA publishers like the characters to be in high school. But it was very disappointing because I had an entire series planned, and I just didn't think it would work if the characters were sixteen. I also didn't want to bump up the ages and make it for adults.

Several readers have asked me about this exact thing, and in the past I've always warned them that making their YA characters too old could mean there was no home for their books. So, hooray! That is no longer true. I think what St. Martin's is doing is great, and I hope they are very successful in their attempt to bring "new adult" to the book marketplace.

Have a fabulous weekend, and we'll be back to our regularly scheduled silliness next week.

Someday

I wanted to thank everyone for their thoughtful and interesting contributions to the comments yesterday. And reiterate that my intent was not to be discouraging, just realistic about the fact that writing is work. Whether or not you are ever published or make money, if you are a writer, you will have to make sacrifices for it.

And it's worth it.

Speaking of things you make sacrifices for, I wanted to make something else clear: I love my kids. I know I jokingly complain about them a lot on here, but they are ridiculously adorable and delight me every single day. I'm overwhelmed with gratitude to have them, and more than ever realize how lucky I am.

Also, I'm really looking forward to when they are teenagers and I can go into their rooms and wake them up at 6 AM EVERY SINGLE SATURDAY. And it still won't be payback enough.

So yes. All good things require sacrifice. I just wish the sacrifices didn't always seem to be sleep and sanity.

Everyone Has a Book Inside

And, depending on where that book is located, it can be very painful and require surgical removal.

After getting a book deal one thing I hear (and my mom hears, and my dad hears, and anyone who knows me and tells anyone else about it) is this: "That's so cool! I should write a book." And my answer is always the same.

Yes, you should!

Absolutely you should. If you have an idea that you've always wanted to write, by all means, write it! Quit procrastinating. Writing is fun. It's challenging and entertaining, and that sense of satisfaction you get when you write the last word on your very first novel? Amazing. It really is an accomplishment. I recommend writing as a hobby to anyone.

But did you catch that? What I said, right there, right above this sentence? Let me reiterate: I recommend writing as a hobby to anyone. Because sometimes, these same people, after telling me they should write a book, get a sly look in their eyes and ask how much money I made.

Oy.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. If you want to make money writing, look into freelancing. If you try and write a novel for money you will a) hate it and b) hate it and c) hate it. Cracking into publishing is

very

hard

work.

There's this myth out there. I call it the Stephenie Meyer myth. The myth goes as follows: You've never written a word in your life, but one morning you wake up after the most amazing dream. The book flows out of you like the waters of life itself, one month later you have a book deal worth moneymoneymoney, and voila! You're famous! You're rich! And it was ALL SO EASY!!

First of all, I guarantee you that it wasn't easy for Stephenie Meyer. I also assure you that her story didn't happen like that, and is still one in a million. In fact, the odds are probably even worse.

The other thing people ask me is how long it took to write Paranormalcy. Well, it took me three weeks.

Three weeks, plus two solid months of editing several revisions.

Three weeks, plus two solid months of editing several revisions, plus three previously written novels.

Three weeks, plus two solid months of editing several revisions, plus three previously written novels, plus four years of writing, plus a degree in English with an emphasis in editing, plus a whole lot of sleep-deprived nights and missed social outings, plus a lifetime of reading and paying attention while I was reading to figure out the mechanics of how this whole English Language thing works (and how it doesn't).

Because this is where writing switches from a hobby to a profession. As with any profession, you need the tools of the trade. And--I'm sorry to shatter any dreams out there--it takes work to learn this stuff. A lot of people say they could be a writer if they only had time. I'm a writer because I made time. Sure, I could have been a lawyer if I had taken the time. But I didn't. And thus, I am not a lawyer. (Thank goodness, too, because we have a lot in my family and the conversations get ridiculously boring.)

I'm not saying you must have a degree in English. Far from it. Becca Fitzpatrick, whose novel Hush, Hush debuted on the NYT bestseller list (and who is awesome), has a degree in Public Health. But you know what she did? She took classes. She found a critique group. She learned how to write. And anyone can do the same thing.

Do I believe everyone has a book in them? Of course I do.

Do I believe everyone has a publishable book in them? Not unless they're prepared to do a whole heck of a lot of work. I also believe that doing the work, learning the mechanics, is worth it regardless of whether or not you ever get published.

You're going to get tired of me saying this, but here it is again: Write because you love to write. If it never becomes more than a hobby, you still have a freaking awesome hobby. And if you want it to be more than a hobby, it's going to be one of the hardest--and most rewarding--things you'll ever pursue.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a picturebookectomy scheduled for later today. Can't get the dang thing out of my lower intestine.

Household Memos

Dear Alarm Clock,

I know we've been together a long time. Going on twelve years now, right? And really, I recognize that you just show what time it is because that's your job. But do you think maybe you could, I don't know, fib a little? Like when the time changes and Dojo doesn't care so he wakes up an hour earlier. Because when I look at you and that first number blinks a big red 5, something inside me dies a little.

How about an 8?

Sleepily yours,
Kiersten

Dear Sink,

Leave me alone. If you don't like the way you smell, CLEAN YOURSELF.

Grumpily,
Kiersten

Dear Huge Bag of Candy on the Counter,

You are killing me. I'm going to ignore you today. In fact, I'm going to give you away. I don't need you. I don't want you.

What? Have another Tootsie Roll?

Well, if you insist.

Sugary Kisses,
Kiersten

Dear Bed,

I miss you, too, my love. And someday, I promise you, little things like novels at night and children in the morning won't come between us anymore, and I will lounge around in you until you positively throw me out. But no, I'm not going to make you today. Don't be ridiculous.

Adoringly and Longingly yours,
Kiersten

November Answers, with Guest!

Thank you as always to everyone who asked questions. Here are your answers, complete with a guest answerer and a Very Special Picture. Here we go!

Mireyah Wolfe asks, Do you sometimes forget you're being published, start to freak out, and then someone has to remind you, which then makes you freak out more and you freak your friends out by giving a high-pitched "squeeeeee!!!" ?

And does that above question make any kind of sense?

Absolutely! To both questions. I don't usually forget that I'm being published, but sometimes it'll just hit me--REALLY hit me--that in less than a year I'll have an actual, physical book in my hands--my book--that I can feel and smell and take to bed with me--and that other people will be able to buy it and read it, too.

And it's kind of overwhelming in its awesomeness, and I am grateful every. single. day.

The inimitable Carrie Harris asks, Wanna come over? I'm going to dress up like 80's era Madonna and dance around my living room.

Absolutely I do. I'll be right over. You haven't lived until you've seen my dance moves. Of course, they're so bad they just might kill you, in which case you won't live afterward, either.

Valerie asks, what do you think influenced or inspired you to write paranormal fiction? Was there a book, movie, tv show that sparked your interest in it?

I was always drawn to things with fantasy or paranormal aspects. I went through a huge high fantasy kick in elementary and junior high, and most of the books, movies, and series I love have at least a little fantasy in them. I have one idea for a book that doesn't have some sort of paranormal plot, but it'll be a while before I feel ready to write that one. I like escapism.

To sum up: Paranormal aspects make things fun. Thus, more fun to write, too!

Liam, ever ready, asks, Evie is going to a Halloween party. What does she wear, etc?

I'll let her answer! Take it away, Evie.

I'm so freaking excited. This is my first party! Unless you count the annual employee Christmas/Winter Solstice brunch, but that's mostly just awkward, since a lot of the IPCA "employees" are werewolves and vamps that I brought in, and they aren't exactly fond of me. Plus, you should never, EVER try the blood orange juice at one of those things.

Pardon me while I go gag at that particular memory.

ANYWAY. So I've been thinking about this a lot, and I finally came up with the perfect costume: Ariel. See, my best friend is an actual mermaid, and she's never been able to understand that movie. The whole fish-with-hair thing. She'd get a kick out of it.

The only problem is I'm not sure if they make seashell push up bras.

Thanks, Evie! I personally thought she'd go for Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Umm, she makes out with VAMPIRES. Can you say eeeeew?

But they were such pretty vampires. Moving on then.

How do you pronounce Evie? Is it "Ee-vee" or "Evv-ee"?

Ah, good question! I personally pronounce it Evv-ee. But most people who read it pronounce it Ee-vee. So, here's the definitive ruling from Evie herself:

I don't care. As long as you aren't trying to kill me, you can call me either one. If you are trying to kill me, well, that's just rude and I can't imagine you'd care much about the pronunciation.

And finally, Why did they have to discover pi (3.1415...)? Why couldn't they just leave it in peace?

A more important question is this: Why would they name a math concept (math = inherently bad tasting) after something as delicious as pie?

A very nervous Anonymous asks, Did you ever think that you would never find an agent who would love your work and that maybe it would sit in a drawer until your kids found it sometime after your funeral?
(not that scenario has ever crossed my mind! um, well yeah it does all the time)

Yes. Absolutely I thought so. Except I'm kind of pushy and would totally have made my kids read my books anyway.

But that search is always scary. And it's hard. The odds of finding an agent who clicks with your voice are kind of daunting. So I'll say what I always say: write because you love it. The other stuff will happen or it won't, but if you love writing, then it's worth it no matter what happens.

The lovely and talented Sara asks, Favorite Halloween candy?

Baby Ruths. Especially in fun size, which are hard to find.

Vampires, zombies, pirates. Which one would you want to be the instigator of a worldwide apocalypse?

Zombies seem the most threatening, and the most gruesome, too. Not a fan. If vampirism were the automatic result of being bitten/killed by a vampire, that would happen pretty fast. And it would suck because once everyone was a vampire, who would we eat?

But a pirate apocalypse? That'd just be FUN. I'd have to brush up on my piratisms though, because otherwise I'd only be good for some "Arrrrr!"s, and they might mistake me for a zombie and kill me to prevent zombies from eclipsing their apocalypse. Pirates are primadonnas like that.

How do you think vampires, zombies, and pirates feel about always being blamed for worldwide apocalypses?

Given the vanity of vampires and pirates, I've no doubt they're quite tickled by the attention/terror/adulation. Zombies, however, have only this to say: braaaaaaiiiiiinnnnnsssss.

Jessie Oliveros, who has a very cute smile, asks, When you are part of an author group like the Tenners, are you signed on to read/review everyone's books?

Nope. For those of you who don't know, The Tenners is a community of YA and Middle Grade authors with their debut books coming out next year. You can sign up to get various ARCs, and you can volunteer to interview anyone, but everything is on a strictly do-what-you-want basis. Which is a good thing, because there are well over a hundred of us, and that would be kind of exhausting and expensive. It has been a great way to connect with other authors, and I've met some really fabulous people (and seen some books I'm very excited for!).

Regarding sequels, Patti asks, How much of the first book do you recap and do you do it at the beginning or throughout?

See, this is the problem. How much DO you recap? It's a fine line to walk. I'm trying to put in gentle reminders without actually recapping, but it's hard. I carry around the first book in my head and know everything about it, but I can't expect the same from even my most devoted readers. This is where critique partners are invaluable to say, "Hey, remind me why she says this?"

Sequels are definitely more challenging than first books. It's so fun to get back into the world, though, so that makes up for it.

Peggy asks, Getting a book deal is incredibly exciting, and it's something you have to work really hard for. Seriously cool. But now that you have one, and everything that goes with it, do you ever think, "Crap! What did I get myself into?"

Umm, sometimes? I think especially when you first get one it's easy to fall into the trap of thinking that you need to be doing stuff ALL THE TIME and be EVERYWHERE online. Website! Goodreads! Facebook! Twitter! Livejournal! Blogger! MySpace! Death by social networking, basically. I've kind of relaxed about things now and ended up just doing the ones I was doing before, with a few easily managable extras. Because I've got that whole sequel thing that isn't writing itself.

If you look at the big picture it's very overwhelming, but when you break it down into pieces it's all very doable. Plus I've got such a great marketing team at Harper and lots of time to figure everything out. I'm also very lucky in that my editor and agent are brilliant and savvy and very involved. I'm well taken care of, which helps me relax.

Most of the time.

Peggy also asks, One more. After you wrote Flash, but before you knew that it wouldn't sell, what made you decide to write Paranormalcy, instead of writing a sequel to Flash?

Actually, I kind of did write a sequel to Flash. It was more of a companion novel though. I wrote that in December, and then, rather than write another book in that world setup, wrote Paranormalcy.

But I would never write a direct sequel to a book I hadn't sold. It would break my heart to put that much work into a story for it never to sell. I'm not saying you should never, ever write sequels, but just be aware of the possible disappointments. It's a better strategy to write someone unconnected in case the first book doesn't sell.

Which happens, obviously. And sometimes it works out much, much better that way.

Chelmo asks, Can I take Dojo off your hands for awhile so you can get some writing in?

And rumor has it that your thinking about moving out of state. What the heck?!

Yes, absofreakinglutely you can. How's tomorrow? Also, Chelmo is NaNoing for the first time ever! Cheer for her in the comments section.

As far as that rumor, I echo your, What the heck?! I think about a lot of things. But so far I have no plans to move out of state, am not scheduled to take a space shuttle so I can try out that whole weightlessness thing, and I also haven't grown eight inches. So just because I think about things doesn't make them happen, sadly.

I also have plans to someone become fabulously wealthy and buy an entire neighborhood to fill with all the people I love so everyone has to live close to me. And watch my kids so I can write, because it's the least they could do in exchange for a house, right?

Lora asks, I have a blog. It has six followers and generally zero comments. So, short of becoming a magically more sparkling and witty person *sigh* or threatening nonreaders with radiant damage, how can I gain more followers?

When I first started my blog I found that being active on popular blogs you're interested in helps you find like-minded individuals. Also, the best way to find readers is to be a reader--comment, participate, etc.

But it's just like anything else with writing--are you blogging to have more followers, or to connect with people? If it's the latter, it doesn't really matter whether you have six or sixty or six hundred followers. I've made some really incredible friends through blogging. So like I said, keep reaching out and I've no doubt you'll find people you click with!

(On a related note, I really, really wish I could visit everyone who visits here and comment. I used to be able to, but now it'd be like a full-time job on top of my other two full-time jobs, and I just can't. Google Reader is my new best friend, though.)

And finally, Tara asks, Here's a random one for you: Who is your favorite Scobby Doo character?

The Mystery Machine.


Whew. You did it! You read all of those! Good job. So, here is a Very Special Picture. I got my CONTRACT! YAY CONTRACT! And, in what I felt was very appropriate for a book populated by faeries, werewolves, vampires, gremlins, hags, etc etc etc, I signed it on Halloween.

Yes, Harper, you now officially own me! And I'm SO HAPPY about that!