Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Fickle Inspiration

I have a lot of notebooks.

A lot of notebooks.

I buy them on sale whenever I notice them. Some are scribbled on every single page. Some are half-filled. Some have a single page or two of writing before they were forgotten. I love finding these notebooks and looking through them. Ideas and plotting for old books, discarded chapters or POVs, so on and so forth.

But every time I look through an old one, I have this secret, desperate hope: I want to find an idea. I want to rediscover something I thought of on a whim and then left behind. I want to see it and think OH MY GOSH THERE IT IS. THE IDEA. THE GENIUS IDEA I'VE BEEN CHASING THIS WHOLE TIME.

Of course, this is what I find instead:

I have no response to that.

Inevitably, Present-Me ends up annoyed with Past-Me for writing nonsense, or a handful of unrelated key words that probably made sense at the time. (Oh, who am I kidding, they definitely didn't even make sense at the time, much less months or years later.)

But Present-Me can't grudge Past-Me her slightly malicious glee at being so unhelpful, because Present-Me has the same twisted sense of humor and appreciates the joke Past-Me is always playing on her by being so maddeningly odd.

Future-Me, however, wishes Present-Me and Past-Me would quit leaving her all the really hard work.

16 comments:

Mary said...

Tongue twisters. That's awesome. I particularly like when I wake up in night, have a great idea and scrawl it in my notebook, and, in the morning, can't even read my handwriting. *headdesk* But I do love my notebooks, stocking up when the composition notebooks are 2 for a $1. <3

Kami said...

Ha Ha! Awesome!

Sarah Elizabeth said...

Could have been worse, all I seem to find is shopping lists! :)

Flurple said...

Your notebooks are more clever than mine. :)

I seem to be incapable of separating out my notebooks for single purposes so they're all a mess of school notes, paper outlines, poems, character sketches, and D&D initiatives.

Maybe now that I am out of college and officially an adult I'll get better about this? Probably not.

Bethany Elizabeth said...

I have the exact same problem. Sometimes I look at things I've written before and thought...'what?'
:)

Megs said...

Ah HA ha ha ha! Yep, totally lame to live in a pumpkin shell. :) Oh, I miss you. Your blog helps though. ;)

Maria said...

:D Haha.. I love what you wrote, really made me laugh. I don't think I write nonesense in my notebooks, but I should so future-me has a good laugh. :) My big problem is I stopped using notebooks (though I have many) & write stuff on scraps of paper, envelopes, store ads... and then I misplace them. ^^ I don't only mean ideas either - I write everything on random pieces of paper. So I'm trying to get back to my notebooks - especially for the important stuff. :)

Sarah Hudson said...

Hee. That looks like one of my notebooks. I also have several PAGES of ... my name. Written over, and over, and over.

Perhaps Past-Me is trying to curse Present-Me?

Anstice Potts said...

This reminds me of me. I also have a ton of notebooks and when I rediscover them I am apalled at the self-indulgent drivel that past-me wrote. I've never found anything quite as odd as that though!

Makayla Anderson said...

I needed to write something down so i just grabbed a random notebook, on the first page, i wrote love over and over and the second had a really amazing attempt at the logo for Glee.

Kristin Aragon said...

I do the whole 1000 notebook thing too and then I wonder "Where is that notebook I wrote..." and shuffle through all 1000 notebooks only to later discover I wrote the note I was hunting for on my phone using an app. LOL.

I just want to tell you, I love reading your posts, they always make me smile.

Sheepa said...

I don't know what you're complaining about, I want to find out more about this pumpkin eater! And his wife! Now there's story if ever I saw one. Add the brown fox and the lazy dog to their tale and you have a bestseller!

Kate said...

Haha! Funny! :)
And I love the blog makeover by the way! :)

E.B. Black said...

I don't have notebooks. I scribble random outlines onto microsoft word and save them on a giant folder full of them on my computer. I've been lucky enough to go through them and be impressed with the things I come up with and what great ideas they are.

That being said, they are never finished ideas or well enough developed to begin writing, so I always have to frustratingly finish developing the idea or abandon it once again. The latter happens more than I would like.

Musing Novelist said...

I know the feeling! I can't remember how many times I got a prompt idea, wrote it down, and then completely forgot what I want hinting to myself when I finally got back to it.

Aurelia Blue said...

I buy notebooks compulsively. Especially pretty ones. I have hoards of them in my basement. Some are complete (never to ever see the light of day EVER) books, too. This funny thing started happening though. Little people from God came to live me and started speaking to me in their special language and I became fluent in this motherese and became their captives. Now they take the pretty new notebooks and fill them with crayoned pics and long lists of states and capitals, including each state's birthday and year it became part of the Union... and so forth...now I scribble on the backs of grocery lists and stuff them into old bank envelopes that are long empty(because the little people also require a lot of purchasing of things). Now the basement is full of Aldi boxes stuffed with envelopes that contain fragments of the next great American novel... hopefully... maybe... ;)