Wednesday, March 14, 2012

I've Always Been Ridiculous

Once, when I was probably too old for this story to be cute (ten or eleven), my parents were away in the middle of the afternoon. I was in charge of the three siblings younger than myself. I took that responsibility very seriously. I also took all of my Stranger Danger training very much to heart. So when someone called for our mother and my little sister TOLD THE STRANGER ON THE PHONE THAT OUR PARENTS WERE NOT HOME, I was pretty sure we were all going to be murdered.

Thus it was our parents returned home to find us huddling in a fort made of couch cushions, out of view of all the windows, clutching knives.

But were any of my siblings murdered by roving strangers cold-calling houses to find out which ones had no parents at home? No they were not. If that wasn't successful babysitting, I don't know what was.

27 comments:

YA Bibliophile said...

You are my favorite! I love this.

Anthony said...

Bwa!

When you have younger siblings, stuff like this happens. When I watched my brothers for the first time, there was a moment I realized I WAS IT AND THERE WAS NOBODY ELSE. Whatever happened I HAD TO DEAL WITH IT.

I sat there on the couch regretting the day I told my parents I was old enough to babysit.

This lasted up to the point they came home and gave me some money.

Then I was like I can do this again, sure you betcha.

Michelle Levy said...

I really needed a laugh. Thank you!

Kristin Rae said...

CRACKING UP! Clutching knives. Best visual ever.

Lindsey Bench said...

your little sister sounds like an idiot. although wasn't she deceitfully heavy (like 900lbs or something?) she probably could have taken whoever came calling--with out the knife.

Claire Dawn said...

Oh, the looks on your parent's faces. :)

Kiersten White said...

Lindsey--It's like you knew her, and all the hours she spent practicing to be a Strong Man with me.

Kate said...

Yeah, every single time my parents left the house my siblings and I would do the usual things you do when your parents leave, like do all the things they normally don't like you to do. Example: playing hockey in the house. (My mother wasn't entirely against it, it just drove her nuts if we did it while she was there. . .) :) But one thing that we always ended up doing was the routine freak out because one of us heard an unidentifiable sound. We never did go to the knives, but baseball bats, heck yes! We moved in huddle bats at the ready through the house until every corner had been checked and declared clear. :)

Robin Weeks said...

When my older sister and I were about 2 and 3, our mother left us in the apartment to walk across the parking lot to put in a load of laundry. (Such neglect.) I still sort of remember looking out the door and seeing a man walking on the roof of the laundry building. We were scared. What do to? We put the chain on the door, of course!

Mom had to talk us through removing the chain so she could get back into her home. Before her kids grabbed knives or something super-dangerous like that.

Anita Saxena said...

Love this. You are most definitely an awesome, protective, big sister.

Alba said...

I shall remember this day...as the day I thought of one of my favorite writers not as an...*____* unreachable person BUT as a normal one as I am...
sorry...I get starstruck A LOT ^_^

Whirlochre said...

The knives make this story.

Thank goodness you weren't a baseball bat or shovel group of terrified kids.

Elaine AM Smith said...

I call that taking charge with steely determination ;)

Irene said...

Sometimes I still feel like doing that when I'm home alone with my one-year old. (And I KNOW I'm way to old for it to even come near cute). Didn't think of building a cushing fort though...

LauraN said...

I've heard that 90% of the things you worry about never actually happen. That means worrying must be pretty effective, right?

Natalie C Parker said...

Yet more proof that wild imaginations SAVE LIVES.

Jessie Clark said...

We're these butter knives, steak knives, or the really threatening looking butcher knives? I'm loving the mental image.

Michelle Wolfson said...

HA HA!! Did I inspire this blog post?? I'm just going to pretend I did anyway.

lollybees3 said...

I have 3 younger siblings too and I have to watch them all the time. Whoop whoop for oldest sister love :)

Astolat said...

Knives, woah. You really didn't do anything by halves! I'd have taken refuge in the bathroom or the kitchen, as they're the deadliest rooms in the house. I often plan defence-against-home-invaders strategies revolving around making a last stand in the bathroom. And I usually come out alive, oh yeah.

Christine Rains said...

*LOL* It's a success if all the kids are alive and well when the parents return.

readerfreak22 said...

Oh my gosh! That is a crazy and ridiculously funny story! You have no idea how hard I started cracking up when I read that. Cross your fingers that's not how my babysitting goes this summer!

Anonymous said...

Best babysitter ever! Letting the kids sit under a dark fort with knives!! XD When my sister and I are home alone and someone is at the door, we duck to the floor and try to get the dogs to shut up.

Makayla A. <3

Anonymous said...

Hi, I already posted on this blog but I just thought of something to add. Ok, so I know I'm not in control of YOUR life or anything, but have you ever thought about visiting Minnesota? Because I think it would be super cool if you did an autograph signing at Mall of America or something. All of my friends love your books, so you have some fans up here.

Makayla A. <3

Anonymous said...

LOOOL, this is hilarious

Anonymous said...

Great story! Sometimes, I still feel like making a fort and clutching knives for protection when I'm home alone. :)

-Christine from Arizona

Alexa said...

I love your books, and I generally like you, but as I am currently aten year old, I think that we are VERY much adorably cute.