Kiersten and Hot Stuff, sitting downstairs, though more accurately collapsed on the couch and the floor, respectively.
Nayna and Dojo, upstairs, brushing their teeth.
Dojo: Screams. "Nayna brushed her teeth first! It was my turn!"
Kiersten: "It doesn't matter!"
Dojo: Yells even louder, working himself up to a fit, which often ends in puking.
Kiersten: "Fine! You can brush your teeth first the rest of the week!"
Nayna: Anguished wails and sobbing.
Kiersten: "You go up."
Hot Stuff: Wisely does not move.
Kiersten: Stomps up the stairs. "WHAT is going on?"
Nayna: Mournful wailing. "You said...I can't...brush first...ever again!"
Kiersten: "I didn't say that."
Dojo: "YES YOU DID. I ALWAYS GET TO BRUSH FIRST NOW."
Nayna: Heart clearly broken clean in two by this incredible injustice, continued sobbing.
Kiersten: "Tomorrow! He gets to brush first tomorrow!"
Dojo: "NO. EVERY DAY."
Nayna: Will never recover from the trauma.
Kiersten: "Two days! You get to brush first for two days!"
Nayna: Already desperately in need of intense therapy sessions to heal from this.
Dojo: "Nayna, I'm never playing with you again!"
Kiersten: "OH NO YOU DON'T. YOU DON'T GET TO BE MEAN OVER SOMETHING AS RIDICULOUS AS BRUSHING YOUR TEETH. THIS IS THE SILLIEST FIGHT YOU'VE EVER HAD."
Nayna: A thousand Care-Bears watch from the clouds, crying in sympathy to her tender feelings irreparably shattered.
Dojo: ''IT IS NOT SILLY! SHE WAS BEING MEAN!"
Kiersten: "Did she hurt you? Did she take something away you can never get back? Did she say something mean?"
Kiersten: "THEN IT IS SILLY."
Dojo: "IT IS NOT SILLY. SHE TOOK MY TURN."
Kiersten: "SO YOU GET EXTRA TURNS."
Nayna: Sobs. "I just." Sobs. "You can't." Sobs. "It'll mess up the SCHEDULE!"
Kiersten: "YOU ALREADY MESSED UP THE TAKING TURNS SCHEDULE. THAT'S IT. IF YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO FIGHT OVER THIS, TOMORROW NIGHT NO ONE GETS TO BRUSH...their...teeth DANGIT I CAN'T EVEN TAKE THIS AWAY FROM YOU." Realizes that her kids have picked something to fight over that she literally cannot take away from them. Final tenuous grasp on control has officially dissolved.
Kiersten: "From now on everyone brushes their teeth at exactly the same time, no matter what, FOREVER." Realizes she has become her father, who used to make the same ridiculous statements in an effort to keep things fair. Realizes there are worse things to be, since her father is an amazing guy.
Nayna: Quietly devolves into sniffles.
Dojo: "Snuggle time!"
Kiersten: "YES. I AM FEELING ALL SORTS OF SNUGGLY RIGHT NOW."
Dojo: "Also, I dropped my toothbrush in the toilet."
Kiersten: Gives up.
Dojo: "Nayna, come for snuggle time!"
Nayna: Resolved to wallow alone. "No."
Dojo: "But Nayna! Snuggle time is filled with LOVE!"
At least we've got that going for us.
(If that wasn't enough Kiersten for your day [and really probably it was too much], the longest interview I've ever given is up over at VOYA's website, and oddly enough also includes an anecdote about brushing teeth. Only this time the story is about me, and the time I accidentally brushed my teeth with...well, you can read it.)