The fear set in later.
Because once you're in this industry, once you are friends with other authors and you see behind the scenes, you realize that selling one book or one series or even being a bestseller does not guarantee you will have a career as an author. Sometimes things don't work out. Sometimes future books don't sell. Sometimes things crash and burn, and sometimes they just fizzle. Sometimes sometimes sometimes.
Sometimes is a scary thing. Because as much as I love the Paranormalcy trilogy, my love of writing extends beyond that one storyline. I wanted to have those books published, yes, but more than that I wanted a career as an author. I wanted to be able to write and make books forever.
I'm going to cry. (Or, as my sister put it when I called her with the news, "So THAT'S why you're giggling all creepy." It's either crying or creepy giggling. No middle ground.)
My first book deal was all giddy disbelief and joy. This new book deal? Pure happiness, tempered with a healthy dose of relief and an overwhelming sense of gratitude. Gratitude to my readers--for buying my books, for reading them, for telling others about them, for setting the foundation that the rest of my career will build on. Thank you. Gratitude to those who help me in my writing life--for putting up with my crazy (husband), for helping me (crit partners), for encouraging me (family and friends both real-world and online), for selling my books (Michelle Wolfson, I'm looking at you, you tiny spitfire agent of awesome). And especially gratitude to HarperTeen--for continuing to believe in me and my writing, for giving my books such an incredible home, for giving me Erica Sussman, and for buying my next four books.
MIND GAMES will come out winter of 2013
FLOOD AND STONE will come out fall of 2013
MIND GAMES 2 will come out winter of 2014
An unnamed standalone will come out fall of 2014
And that's the part I still can't quite believe, either. Because in another massive, incredible show of support, HarperTeen is going to publish two books a year from me.
Okay, remember how I was all calm and grateful and thoughtful about this book deal?
JUST KIDDING I AM TOTALLY FREAKING OUT AGAIN.
I WAS GOING TO BE CALM IN THIS PARAGRAPH BUT I CAN'T TURN OFF CAPS LOCK BECAUSE I AM STILL TOTALLY FREAKING OUT. TWO A YEAR!
Ahem. Sometimes I worry that I am bludgeoning people with my constant good news. Please know that I recognize how fortunate I am. Lucky, even. Yes, I work very hard, but a lot of people work very hard and never get the success they deserve. I know professionally I'm fortunate beyond what I very realistically hoped for, and I'm so, so grateful that I have all of you to share this with.