So, after reading this interesting blog post by agent/author Mandy Hubbard on what editors want to see, I've decided to scrap everything I'm working on and instead create the ultimate trend book. It will be the trend to end all trends, and take publishing by storm. And not, like, drizzling storm. Like, 2012-without-John-Cusack-because-I-can't-afford-him storm. Pretty much it will signal the end of publishing because after this book there will be no more books because there will be no point.
Introducing my Contemporary Sci-fi Dystopian Horror Ghost Mermaid Romance, told in second-person future-tense (with bonus environmentalist undertones to make me a shoe-in for the Printz award), You Will Die in Infinite Darkness!
And, because I love you, here's an excerpt:
You will wander, forlorn and cold in the wake of a dream eternally shattered. You will feel as though someone reached outside the impenetrable, soulless metal walls of the spaceship and siphoned the freezing blackness of space directly into the spot that your love used to inhabit. Your heart will be worse than your cryogenically frozen social revolutionary boyfriend Xadam, because after you throw yourself at its mercy, the Society might reanimate him, but it will never reanimate your heart.
You will come to the bridge, lost in memories of his hands in your hair, his tender embraces, his childish laugh, his impossibly green eyes. Everything in your life had always been cold and metal, just as the Society would have your soul be. But Xadam, not Xadam. He was your own personal sun, the star to which your planets aligned. He will never be yours again. You will want to sink into the bowels of the ship, to meld your body to its unforgiving beams, to sustain life without having life of your own.
You will be drawn by music you won't notice you hear until it is too late. It will be empty, too empty in the control room, the iron-fisted Society ship rulers somehow missing. You will start to ponder this, but you won't be able to for long, because you will see something that pushes all other thoughts from your spinning brain.
You will see a mermaid.
She will be combing her ghostly locks on the bridge of the forsaken ship, her lips full and blue, the lights from the console blinking through her. She will float as though on the memory of water, and you will be drawn toward her like the pull of the tide in the ocean your people contaminated and destroyed. The ocean you will never swim in. The ocean that claimed the life of this mermaid. You will remember horrible authors who wrote about mermaids and did terrible things to them, and you will weep. You will want to go to her, want to drown in her depthless eyes. But then you will notice that her comb is made of delicate fingerbones, too small to be from an adult. You will reel in horror as you think of the nursery level of the ship--unlocked, unguarded. Her gaze will turn from the tide to a whirlpool, rippling with terror and death.
You will scream. A lot.
You will stumble back, race and trip and crawl on bloodied knees through the labyrinthine hallways of the ship that was to be your life, but will now be your tomb. You will cry and shake, longing for Xadam's strength, but you will not stop though you know your efforts are futile. Xadam wouldn't want you to stop. You will run for his memory, for the person he was before the brutal re-education of the Society. You will not run fast enough. You will never run fast enough, because there is nowhere to run. The siren song of the ghostly fishwoman will haunt your every step. You will sob.
The vast empty black of space inside and outside of you will not care.
Then you will have your scream muffled as a strong hand clamps down over your mouth and everything fades into darkness...
So, there you go! The future trend to beat all trends. Editors, feel free to call me and let the bidding war start immediately.