Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Bringing the Happy

Today I drove along the coast. The ocean swelling on, blindingly blue forever seemed to stretch and push its horizon right into my soul. A line of pelicans, delightful birds that alternate between utter awkwardness and stunning grace, soared in a staggered line overhead. I'm pretty sure they were there just for me.

I like to make with the funny complaining, but sometimes (more than sometimes) it needs to be said: I am probably the luckiest girl alive. I'm married to my favorite person in the world, and I didn't even have to wait very long before finding him. (Pretty sure I was the smartest eighteen-year-old ever for picking him out.) Everything--everything--in my life is what it is because of the man I'm blessed enough to call my partner. We have two incredibly delightful little people that I am constantly amazed by, and that somehow I get to be in charge of for a few short years. Aside from the fact that I made them, I really am awed by them and their process of growing up. It's amazing (and terrifying and incredible) to be here, shepherding that process.

I get to write for a living. I. get. paid. to. write. It's kind of mind-blowing. Not only do I get to do something I love and I'd be doing anyway, but I get paid to do it AND so many smart, fun people care to see what I am doing with it. That's both exhilarating and humbling. I have my dream job, and it allows me to help support my family while leaving me free to be at home with my kids full time. I recognize what an unusual and fortunate position this is and I am grateful that I'm here every single day.

It should probably be said again: I get paid to make things up. THAT IS SO FREAKING COOL.

I'm surrounded both personally and professionally by people that I genuinely love, people that are smart and kind and capable and funny. People that I love to be around and that (I think, most of the time) love to be around me, too. I've been blessed in my life with associations with people that have helped shape me, nurtured what was good in me, and helped me shift and overcome what was maybe not so good. I've been buoyed up by so much belief and love from so many people I kind of couldn't help but accomplish what they thought I could.

Also, I live in San Diego. Enough said.

Writing can be lonely. We spend so much time living in our heads that I think creative people have a tendency to obsess (admit it) and obsession can shift from a nurturing, creative thing to a dark, gnawing, empty thing. It's too easy to get caught in cycles of negative thoughts; sometimes it's good to pause, look at the ridiculous and beautiful pelicans, and think of everything that is good in your life. Let that ocean fill you, expand and swell and push out any dark things clinging to the sides of your soul.

Metaphorically, of course. Because if I have to get wet, I'll still complain, luckiest girl alive or not.

25 comments:

heidikins said...

I love this. I love every bit of this.

xox

Ru said...

:)

This will probably sound a little creepy, but I bet you'd be fun to be friends with in real life. I love folks who know they're blessed and don't feel the need to downplay it or feel guilty about it, but just acknowledge it and enjoy it. Rock on, missy.

Kathryn said...

Aww, very sweet. I enjoyed this, and I hope your (lack of) teeth are feeling better!

keriflur said...

Awesome, love it, and thank you.

K. Marie Criddle said...

This is rad. I just did a fist pump a la the end of an eighties movie, I was so happy reading this. You rock.

Carina said...

This made me smile. Thank you. :)

Holly G said...

You are amazing girl! You always know how to bolster me up, whether you realize you're doing it or not. I still remember, back in our days at the g-hood, a note I found from you on the back of our front door one morning after I'd been struggling and how it made me feel so completely loved and washed away the problems I'd been having in that one moment. (If I recall correctly, there was even a little drawing on it for me :) Well, you have done that for me again with this post and for that I thank you a ton! Love you!

Katrina L. Lantz said...

Aw, love the reflective moments. You are very blessed, but it's got to be that much more delightful to know much of your blessings are rewards for hard work. *standing ovation*

Erin said...

Lovely! Thank you for sharing!

Steph Sinkhorn said...

What a great post :) Yeah. Sometimes I just look out my window and think, "... man, how awesome is this." It pays to take those moments, for sure.

Heather said...

Lovely.

Chelsey said...

Fabulous post. Sometimes it's about stepping back and realizing how amazing things can be, even if they don't always seem that way in the thick of it.

Caroline Starr Rose said...

I'm there with you. What a gift this life is!

Angela Felsted said...

Say it, sister!

Juliana L. Brandt said...

This is exactly what I needed to read today, thank you.

Jordanne said...

AWWW!!! :D Families rock. They really do. Also, doing what you love. You're an inspiration everyday!!!
GUESS WHAT?! I'm visiting San Diego this summer with my mom and dad! Awesomeness, yes?! I've been there once before but I was too young to remember anything but the San Diego Zoo where I got a really cool stuffed monkey that was rainbow colored and I named...Diego! So....yay for San Diego!!! Maybe I'll see you driving around. I'll keep an eye out for a family of four with two little people, a really tall guy, and a really short lady.
<3

Chantele Sedgwick said...

What a fabulous post Kiersten. Love it.

Claire Dawn said...

Yay!

Thanks for reminding us all to take stock of our blessings.

kllamp said...

You are all kinds of awesome!

Enough said.

Melissa ;)

Frankie Diane Mallis said...

LOVE this post!

Read my books; lose ten pounds! said...

that last paragraph is so true.

jackie b central texas said...

Congratulations on fulfilling all your dreams and more, it is a lucky person indeed in this century who is allowed to create and share their work they love and get paid for doing so while staying home with family to boot!

Stopping to "smell the flowers" really does apply to all of us and glad you have such a beautiful location to live in and recharge the old creative juices!

Michelle Wolfson said...

I'm looking at the time you posted this and checking our phone calls and email exchanges and trying to decide if they are included in this burst of happiness and I'm going to go with yes, because thinking that makes me feel happy and lucky. And even if not, thinking about out phone call and emails from yesterday still make me feel happy and lucky. :)

Great post.

Lauren said...

Great post, Kiersten! Thank you.

The Story Queen said...

You are amazing.

I loved reading every word of this and it's such a refreshing change to have the chance to read about gratitude! You are a lovely person that completely deserves every ounce of luck you've been gifted with.

Thank you for being you.