Today I drove along the coast. The ocean swelling on, blindingly blue forever seemed to stretch and push its horizon right into my soul. A line of pelicans, delightful birds that alternate between utter awkwardness and stunning grace, soared in a staggered line overhead. I'm pretty sure they were there just for me.
I like to make with the funny complaining, but sometimes (more than sometimes) it needs to be said: I am probably the luckiest girl alive. I'm married to my favorite person in the world, and I didn't even have to wait very long before finding him. (Pretty sure I was the smartest eighteen-year-old ever for picking him out.) Everything--everything--in my life is what it is because of the man I'm blessed enough to call my partner. We have two incredibly delightful little people that I am constantly amazed by, and that somehow I get to be in charge of for a few short years. Aside from the fact that I made them, I really am awed by them and their process of growing up. It's amazing (and terrifying and incredible) to be here, shepherding that process.
I get to write for a living. I. get. paid. to. write. It's kind of mind-blowing. Not only do I get to do something I love and I'd be doing anyway, but I get paid to do it AND so many smart, fun people care to see what I am doing with it. That's both exhilarating and humbling. I have my dream job, and it allows me to help support my family while leaving me free to be at home with my kids full time. I recognize what an unusual and fortunate position this is and I am grateful that I'm here every single day.
It should probably be said again: I get paid to make things up. THAT IS SO FREAKING COOL.
I'm surrounded both personally and professionally by people that I genuinely love, people that are smart and kind and capable and funny. People that I love to be around and that (I think, most of the time) love to be around me, too. I've been blessed in my life with associations with people that have helped shape me, nurtured what was good in me, and helped me shift and overcome what was maybe not so good. I've been buoyed up by so much belief and love from so many people I kind of couldn't help but accomplish what they thought I could.
Also, I live in San Diego. Enough said.
Writing can be lonely. We spend so much time living in our heads that I think creative people have a tendency to obsess (admit it) and obsession can shift from a nurturing, creative thing to a dark, gnawing, empty thing. It's too easy to get caught in cycles of negative thoughts; sometimes it's good to pause, look at the ridiculous and beautiful pelicans, and think of everything that is good in your life. Let that ocean fill you, expand and swell and push out any dark things clinging to the sides of your soul.
Metaphorically, of course. Because if I have to get wet, I'll still complain, luckiest girl alive or not.