Okay, guys, I'm going to let you in on a secret. And this secret really only matters if you are an aspiring author and hope to get published. The secret is this:
People talk.
EVERYONE talks.
Just like any group, there is gossip. I mean, come on--we're writers. WE LIKE TELLING STORIES. And if we have a great/terrible story about someone in the same circle, well, guess what? That story gets told.
Everybody knows everybody, or at least knows someone who knows everybody. Authors tend to form connections and know of each other and each other's agents and each other's editors. And when someone on any end of this behaves badly--or behaves awesomely--word gets around. TO EVERYONE.
Point: Be nice. Be the type of author who, when your name comes up in conversation, the only direction the conversation can possibly go is gushing over the sheer awesomeness of you. Just as it is very unfortunate to hear, "I really like him/her, but I'm not a fan of his/her writing," it's even MORE unfortunate to hear, "I really like his/her writing, but he/she is a total jerk."
Don't be a jerk. This starts very early on. Even if you don't have a book deal yet, even if you can only dream of being one of the authors that other authors talk about, start building the kind of reputation you want to have now. Because if you are out there, networking and blogging and tweeting, people are noticing. I promise. And if you are burning bridges and being catty or petty, people will remember. And some of those people you are burning and leaving behind may very well get a book deal, too, and be your peers, and I guarantee you they will not have forgotten what happened*.
Hello, HIGH SCHOOL. (Sadly, I am not kidding.)
Will there be consequences for bad behavior? I dunno. Probably not. But will it be far better for you to be one of those of whom it is said, "Oh my gosh, you know so-and-so? I love so-and-so!"? Yes**. Because authors meet, and authors talk, and authors help each other out. Or they don't. Depending. You are never too small to be kind and helpful. You are never too big to be friendly and encouraging. (The best example I can think of? John Green. He's pretty much the king of YA contemporary. He's a Printz award winner. He's a multiple bestseller. He's a freaking genius with LEGIONS of fans. Could he get away with being aloof or snooty? Absolutely he could. I don't think at this point anyone would even hold it against him. But every time I have met him he has been warm and friendly and genuinely kind. Which of course only makes him that much more amazing. Hmm...actually, maybe I do hate him.)
That all being said, I think the YA writing community is one of the warmest, most encouraging, friendliest, and most helpful groups I've ever been a member of. I'm proud to be a part of it, and I sincerely hope I make it better. Or, at the very least, that if I am giving people fodder for stories they are funny stories.
I like to do my part.
*For the record, this has never happened to me. I know cool people and have amazing friends and associations. I'm a lucky girl. But I've heard a lot of very bad stories about people from one end of the spectrum to the other. And no, I'm not going to tell you any of them.
**Case in point: I have yet to hear Lisa McMann brought up in conversation without at least one exchange of, "I love her!" "I know, right??" She's just that awesome, all the time, to everyone. Just one of many, many examples of how to do it right.
Interesting addendum: Just got an email from an author I like very much who added, we can also do our part by not gossiping. Which is true. Hopefully this didn't come across as me encouraging author gossip. My whole point is not that we SHOULD tell every story we ever hear, merely that we should do our best to behave in such a way as to make sure the stories that might be told about us are positive. Whether or not we should tell the stories is another post entirely! (Answer: only if they are funny and anonymous, because why put more suck in the world?)
35 comments:
Excellent points all around, and a good reminder to us all.
The romance writing community is probably a bit similar in terms of this "everyone knows everyone" vibe, so I know I try to be on my good behavior.
Well, mostly good.
Tawna
Momma said it best - if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. Or better yet - you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.
Wonderful post! That stretches across so many aspects of life.
Oh no! I am naturally a jerk, so I am doomed!
Seriously, though, thanks for the advice ;) I already notice word getting around about some authors (just not yet about me, which I suppose is good if I really AM a jerk).
Ah yes... the toes you step on today may be connected to the rear end you have to kiss tomorrow. So true.
And mean people suck, anyway.
Great post. I would also add that if you do find yourself doing something "jerky" and only realize after the fact, it isn't the end of the world. We're human. Everybody has bad days. The difference is how you handle it. Be classy. Apologize. Be better. That makes a difference too.
Danielle--Exactly!
I hope when people talk about me they talk about my love for chocolate :)
The Interesting Comment Generator in my brain appears to be out to lunch, so I'll merely say a bland "Great post, Kiersten!"
Because it was. Thanks for sharing. :)
Your reputation will flourish or wither based on how much attention you pay to your character. It is possible to manufacture a reputation, but without character a false reputation will not last.
Thanks for the advice! Definitely lessons that everyone should take to heart.
Personally, I never understood why people enjoy being mean...I mean, isn't it much more fun to make somebody's day by being friendly than it is to be a jerk? Every time somebody logs onto the interwebz "All You Need Is Love" should start playing through their computer speakers as a reminder to be nice.
Indeed! Very well said! :)
"But I've heard a lot of very bad stories about people from one end of the spectrum to the other. And no, I'm not going to tell you any of them."
Why not, if they actually did those things that got them talked about?
In all other regards, great post.
Great post. Mean people really do suck. Even if their writing is awesome, sometimes their reputation makes you not even want to read their books. Thanks for being so nice and funny Kiersten! You are awesome! :)
I was talking to Jackie about gossiping the other day. I don't gossip--because I never know what anyone is up to--but I love listening to gossip. And if that's wrong, I don't wanna be right.
But yeah, like Danielle said, the best thing is to be classy. Or fake it, like I do.
Dia--Nothing wrong with faking it! And sometimes I think these things can serve a purpose--like if you know that a crit partner someone is considering is kind of toxic to work with. Things do need to be addressed sometimes. I just like hearing the FUNNY stories, though, because it's nice to know that other authors are, in fact, people too! Shocking.
Are there consequences for bad behavior? Yes. Absolutely. I'm more likely to buy a mediocre book by someone I like and want to succeed than I do really good books from people who suck. One author in particular wrote one of the greatest characters I'd ever read. I miss this character, but I don't miss the author's attitude. She could write the best book in the world and I still wouldn't buy it. I'm well-adjusted that way.
I would also like to point out another reason why gossip is bad: not everyone with a reputation of doing jerky things is a jerk. Sometimes they're just victims of jealous people who like to spread rumors.
My rule of thumb is to give everyone a chance. If they've been rotten, maybe they've changed. Or maybe they were never rotten at all and it was a big lie. And if they start to get toxic, cut them out and move on.
Echoing Peter,
Gossip hoists no flags.
In the breeze the fabric snags.
So, I'm a new reader, and fan, of yours. also a writer. a young writer. a small writer. but im officially one and 1/8th of an inch taller than you. which is new. nobody's shorter than me at my school. I LOVED Paranormalcy. just thought i'd throw that out there. it's exam week for me, but i finished it in one night, when i should've been studying for french. couldn't help but devour it. i kno tht personally i never divulge secrets on my writing but is jack an Empty One guy made by the Unseelie to mess with Evie? i love Lend. he's my new ficitonal boyfriend. i think he might even stick around for a while. I'll definitely be reading your blog from now on! :) oh, and suggest you to my friends. especially short ones who love to read. You might just end up with a hold legion of short fans.
Excellent points, all around. Which is, of course, why we all love you so much.
I also want to say that I don't encourage gossip at all. However, if instead, you want to send a long, chatty email to your agent with lots of juicy stories, I would strongly encourage that. Yes, I really would.
Gossip is for (and bleeds through) those with nothing of interest below the surface, so they turn their sights to others in order to have people lend an ear. What they don't understand is that when one has to defer to that tactic just to get people to listen, what they should instead be doing is evaluating their own self-worth and the choices they make in life with regards to other people.
Great post!
Love, love, love this post! I agree that the writing community is full of awesome. In fact, right here in your comment section are some of my most favorite people/writers/agents on the planet.
I love encouraging others along their paths, though I will never compare to the fabulous Daisy Whitney in this area. (She's a rock star.) I'm a firm believer in "what goes around, comes around" and try to follow one, simple rule: be nice. ;-)
Totally agree and would also like to add how helpful it is to have some trusted author friends to turn to when times are tough. No one gets it like fellow writers.
And we don't want to be one of those people that gets gossiped about for spreading negative gossip either! Great reminder for all of us bloggers/aspiring authors that everything we say now (especially what gets published on the internet for all to see) sticks around long term.
Great article...
Gossip is out
Encouragement is in!
Humility and kindness are two really good qualities to have. Hard to achieve sometimes, but totally worth it in the long run. :)
I love this. Gives me hope for the future. Be yourself - kindness goes a long way.
I love this. Gives me hope for the future. Be yourself - kindness goes a long way.
Sing it sister. AMEN.
Great post! Wonderful advice and not just for the writing community - for everyone! My dad has always told my brothers and I, "We're here to help push people up the ladder of life, not pull them down." Thanks for an inspiring reminder of how to conduct ourselves - especially during the holiday season and upcoming New Year!
The community of YA writers (aspiring and published) is so awesome. I'm so lucky to have gotten to know many of them, and I hope it can stay that way! Thanks for putting up the reminder for all of us!
If I didn't have my author friends to vent to ... I would explode.
And I think the feeling is mutual.
I don't think of our talks as gossip as much as "sharing information" ... but yeah, maybe a little snark sneaks in. :-)
L
The, "HELLO, high school" part totally cracked me up. In my decade as a "grown-up" (whatever that means) it's been my experience that everything is just like high school - work social structures, community, volunteer groups - all of it, no matter what line of work you're in or who you spend your time with. So funny.
That's my new motto! "Why put more suck in the world?" Nice. :D
Writer or not, this might be good advice for life.
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