Yes. You, my friends, will need to become Professional Waiters. (Not the kind that get paid and earn tips. That would be counterproductive and goes against the very nature of Professional Waiters--we don't get paid for what we do! We do it out of love!) Here are the top six skill sets you need to practice at home to hone your talent as a Professional Waiter, conveniently organized in an easy-to-remember acronym:
That [query/beta response/full response/sub response/etc] you're waiting to hear about? It could show up in your inbox at ANY TIME. Start wrist exercises now to build up the strength and toning you'll need to constantly click "refresh" on your email inbox, because ANY SECOND NOW IT WILL HAPPEN! And the more you check, the sooner it will come!
This is to be avoided at all costs. Don't worry about accomplishing anything. Cleaning, working on that next project, catching up on all of the things you left undone to get to this point? They, too, can wait! Your sole focus right now should be to O.B.S.E.S.S. If you're getting other things done, you aren't devoting enough time to waiting. Keep yourself busy with waiting!
Nothing is going to be accomplished by getting out in the sunshine and spending time doing things you enjoy with people you love. You should make it a goal never to leave the house during business hours--after all, the second you step outside is probably the second [potential agent/future editor/etc] will call! Don't risk missing it! You probably don't want to go out in the evenings or on weekends, either, just to be safe. Think of all of the email refreshes you'd be skipping!
Professional waiting is not for the faint of heart. You are in this for the long haul. You will do nothing but wait--WAIT, WAIT, WAIT--with no forward momentum whatsoever. You are anchored firmly in the past: what you have already done and are waiting for. You can imagine the future fruits of your waiting, but you endure the waiting without working toward anything new. We are waiters, not movers or creators.
One of the key parts of being a Professional Waiter is to focus all your efforts--nay, all your very thoughts--on things that are beyond your control. We don't wait for things that we can affect or change or make happen. We put our [queries/books/etc] out there where they are out of our hands, and then we wait for other people to make things happen. There's no point in focusing on something you have control over! Where's the fun in that?
This is to be avoided at all costs. Sure, it doesn't make sense for you to sit around checking your email over and over and over again, and on some level we know that it won't actually make a difference how often we check, and that there's nothing magical about [insert your lucky day of the month/time of day/shirt/necklace/song/stick of chewing gum here], but Professional Waiters throw logic and sense out the window. We don't believe in sanity.
If we did, we wouldn't be writers now, would we?
So, my brothers and sisters of the Professional Waiting Society, what are you waiting for? And how are you developing your O.B.S.E.S.S. skills to be the best waiter you can be?