Wednesday, March 17, 2010

A St Patrick's Day Surprise!

I promised you inspiration. With the help of the infinitely talented Natalie Whipple, I'm here to deliver. If this doesn't speak to your soul, I'm pretty sure you don't have one.

Presenting, A Yeti Leprechaun Romance Epic Conclusion for the Ages
by Kiersten White
Artistic Genius by Natalie Whipple

Chapter Twenty-three: Grrrrrl, Interrupted

My wee heart broke in that moment as I watched the brutish Sasquatch King take my precious Yeti’s hand in his. Her broad, powerful shoulders, those shoulders I’d ridden on as we frolicked through the frozen Himalayas, slumped forward in defeat. She’d rather marry that monster and suffer a flea-bitten eternity than risk me death at his hands.

Didn’t she know I was already dying a thousand icy deaths seeing her in the arms of another?

But maybe she’d be better off. Maybe this was what she really wanted, what she needed. Someone who could wrap her up, safe in his arms. He’d do that for her; so what if he gave her lice in the meantime? Me own wee arms barely fit around her knee. I could never be enough of a man for her—it wasn’t physically possible.

No! No, I’d never believe in a reality where we weren’t destined to be together. Our love was fated, written in the stars. She was the Juliet to my Romeo, but with less suicide and murder. Hopefully. Nothing, not interspecies-prohibitions, nor ancient tribal laws, nor the wrath of me own Banshee Queen could keep us apart.

I burst out of me hiding spot in the undergrowth. “No! Dunna do it, me heart! Come away with me!”

“Yrnoooooaaaarrrrlllll!” she said, tears streaking her matted white fur.

“I dunna care! Let him try to kill me! We’ll see who the bigger man really is!”

The Sasquatch King bellowed his rage, eyes blazing like coals as he crossed the marriage meadow toward me. At the last second I tucked into a ball, rolling right between his tree-trunk legs. Unable to stop his momentum, he ran straight into a branch. Drawing the last of me enchanted gold, I flung it at the broad space between his eyes, knocking him out cold.

“Quick, me heart! While he’s stunned!” I grabbed her great paw in mine and, using the last of me powers, flung a rainbow out in front of us. I’d never make another. “Hurry now! Dunna look back or all will be lost!”

We were halfway across the rainbow when she tripped and stumbled. I pulled from deep within, a pool of strength I’d never known I had, and managed to lift up her paw. Fortunately she did the rest, throwing me over her shoulder and racing us across the rainbow and back to her home—our home—safe among the Ice Caverns of Yorwwwnrrrrrlll.

As she cradled me to her great, fuzzy face, she asked, "Gnorrrraaaawl?"

"Me heart, ye're all the luck I'll ever need. I won't miss it a bit." But I wondered if I had made the right choice. “Are ye sure, me heart? Am I really enough for ye?”

She didn’t answer. She just threw me onto her shoulders and we raced across the ice fields, our joy trailing in white laughter clouds behind us. I knew then that I’d be enough. I’d always been enough. If a heart as big as hers—and really, we’re talking massive to be able to pump blood throughout her magnificent, gargantuan body—could love me, I was the biggest man on earth.

THE END

It's Not the Size of the Man in Love, It's the Size of the Love in the Man
...or, umm, something like that...

(All credit to Natalie for the fanfreakingtastic illustration. If that doesn't inspire mountains of fanfic, I don't know what will.)

26 comments:

Tracy said...

*claps*

Well done, the both of you!

There's nothing like a good old-fashioned yeti romance to leave me feeling all warm and fuzzy. And nothing says eternal love quite like St. Patrick's Day.

Jenilyn said...

That's absolutely hilarious! I love it!!

Elizabeth Poole said...

This is awesome! I am inspired for the rest of my life!

Stephanie Perkins said...

Ice Caverns of Yorwwwnrrrrrlll + pink bow in Natalie's picture = GIANT GRIN ON STEPHANIE'S FACE

High-fives all around! I have no idea (No. Idea.) where you two find the time to create such awesome things.

patdwhite said...

A lovely story my wee one. I will be rubbin' the blarney stone for ye and yer new life together.

Are ya going for a pint? Na, your probably knackered.

Mind yerself

Daisy Whitney said...

Lice!! Eeek!

lotusgirl said...

Y'all crack me up.

Kelly Bryson said...

Love 'marriage meadow'. thanks for the laugh!

Natalie Whipple said...

Again, I'll say how surprised I am Miss Yeti turned out so...pretty. No wonder the Sasquatch King was after her.

Also, I giggle every time he says "me heart."

Debbie Barr said...

Pure. Genius.

I think I cried a little at the end, there.

Mireyah Wolfe said...

I honestly teared up. *sniffle* So inspiring...and *perfect* for St. Paddy's day. :)

LisaP said...

I was having a so-so day until I read this. "Grrrrrl, Interrupted" - BRILLIANT I tell ya. ;)

Dara said...

That was great! They really must be destined if the little guy can actually understand what his yeti princess is saying through all those unintelligble growls.

moonrat said...

I am breathtaken. (Is that a word? Now it is.)

JaneyV said...

Words fail … all choked up…Seriously when I read
Our love was fated, written in the stars. She was the Juliet to my Romeo, but with less suicide and murder. Hopefully. Nothing, not interspecies-prohibitions, nor ancient tribal laws, nor the wrath of me own Banshee Queen could keep us apart.
I snorted so hard I started choking…

I'm breathtook too. Literally.

Beannacht Dé ort!

Mariah Irvin said...

"Me heart, ye're all the luck I'll ever need. I won't miss it a bit."

AWESOME.

You planned the finale to be on St. Patrick's day from the very beginning, didn't you?!

Abby Stevens said...

Oh my. You and Natalie are both so talented.

But seriously? Leprechauns? Banshees? Did you hack my computer and steal my book?

Just kidding. :-)

My WIP *is* about Irish mythological creatures, though.

Liz Czukas said...

Love conquers all... *sniff, sniff*

I assume you're submitting this directly to your agent? This has bestseller written all over it.

- Liz

Kristan said...

LOL omfg (f = pg version of course) I LOVE YOU GUYS.

Thanks for the best St. Patty's day gift ever. :D

Whirlochre said...

You've inspired me to consider Yeti-textured wallpaper for my forthcoming living room makeover.

A sort of fluffy-yet-dangerous chic.

K. Marie Criddle said...

You guys are a freeging ROFL. Now, can you write them into an episode of LOST or TEEN DRAMA ? Please do, oh please.

Anita Saxena said...

Riveting. :)

Ryan said...

That was awesome! I still say you have to write the whole friggin thing lol. I want t know how they met! I want to know if the pink bow was a gift of his love! I want to know everything! lol.

Anyway, I also wanted to let you know that over at my blog I gave you the Honest Scrap award if you want it :) Happy Belated St. Patty's day.

pinksuedeshoe said...

Am I lame if teared up at the end? Because I did. Love it!

Debra L. Schubert said...

Funny as all get-out. (Not really sure what that means, but your story was hilarious.) Natalie's picture is, of course, divine. Her talents are beyond ridiculous.

Will there be a sequel? I simply must see what their children look like and how they deal with things like mortgage payments and the first day their wee ones start kindergarten. Talk to Michelle. I'm sure she can sell it. ;-)

Chantele Sedgwick said...

So FUNNY! Seriously. Love the pictures as well! :D