Many of you know that I've been trying to get pregnant for a year now. Apparently having one of my internal organs explode (See? I'm being good now! I didn't even say fallopian tubes!) (Ah, crap. Why do I even try?) kind of messed things up. So I've come to a decision. There are a number of factors: my determination to do everything I can publicity-wise for Paranormalcy next year, Dojo keeping me up HALF THE FREAKING NIGHT LAST NIGHT and reminding me that he's worse than a newborn, fatigue over counting days and waiting, waiting, waiting.
For now I've decided to give up on having another human baby and just have nice, adorable book babies. I've weighed the pros and cons for you, because I'm just thoughtful and thorough like that.
Human Baby: Keeps you up all hours of the night
Book Baby: Keeps you up late, rarely wakes you up with its screaming
HB: Expensive
BB: Pays me
HB: Adorable
BB: Depends on the cover
HB: A lifelong commitment
BB: A two-to-five year work commitment and a lifetime of affection
HB: I'm only twenty-six
BB: I'm only twenty-six!
HB: Diapers and vomit
BB: Tendinitis and carpal tunnel
HB: Weight gain
BB: Weight gain
HB: Already lucky to have two beautiful ones
BB: Already lucky to be doing what I love
HB: The risk of another potentially life-threatening pregnancy
BB: Writing books can't kill you (no matter what Stephanie claims about her second novel)
HB: Can pick one name I love
BB: Can name every single character without input from anyone
HB: Resist attempts to edit their personalities
BB: Just hit delete and viola! Change!
HB: Just. Not. Happening.
BB: Happening! Happily!
HB: Would not be able to speak Polish
BB: Being published in Poland!
There you have it. I think I'll stick with book babies for the time being. My books are way nicer than my actual children are, even if they aren't as cute.
37 comments:
Of course now that you have made that decision you will get pregnant.
Also BB will not want to come back home after it's grown up and live off you....hopefully.
My BBs will live with me forever! They're going to get their own special bookshelf. That's part of why I'm so giddy about the foreign language deal!
And no worries about an accidental pregnancy. Not gonna happen.
I'll get knitting some rectangular socks...
Ooh, ooh, and some little caps!!
Are boy books blue and girl books pink, or are the rules of sock and bonnet knitting different for printfants?
My sister is in labor in a hospital in Denver as I write this, so this post is very poignant to me. And, yes, you're only 26 - you're practically a baby yourself! Relax and enjoy your little one and the success you're having with your career. And remember, "There's a time for every purpose under heaven."
You're gonna be published in Poland? That's awesome!
And there's this:
HB: been there, doing that, so fortunate!
BB: been there, doing that, so fortunate!
Sometimes I feel like writing is a lot like giving birth except it takes more than 9 months (except for you, it's probably more like a month miss speedy!) to develop and finally be able to wrap in a little pink blanket (my MC is female!)
But I've never given birth...so...I will shut up now! =)
I like the positive attitude. Maybe we need to plan a virtual baby shower for BB. :]
I think Paranormalcy will be just the spice of life that post-communist Poland needs. :)
We tried for more than a year for our second and only got pregnant after giving up and applying to graduate school (so I could get a job after being a home-mommy for then, nearly five years with the first). The real estate agent who sold me my house (and became a friend) tried for three years before her first and now has three less than a year apart.
If you've really decided you're done trying, don't just assume that because it hasn't worked yet it won't.
Sorry you have to deal with this. I remember how difficult giving up can be. (My first will be 7 next week, and second 3 in November. It's not all that long ago for me).
Ah, I'm only having book babies from now on too... Sadly mine have not yet been accepted by any literary agents and I'm not considering a home birth.
At the moment I only have book babies and no human babies, the latter still intimidate me :)
Maybe someday
Confession time: I love the fact that I can name all of my characters. Slayer and I do not see eye to eye on the naming thing. He picks names that sound like exotic dancers. And then, when I say Penelope, he says, "Pee-na-lope? NO WAY!"
Le sigh.
Kiersten, a part of your BB's will be with you forever but you have to let them go out into the world...and share them with others. Trust that you have done all you can and they will make it.
I'm going to try for a HB and a BB this year. Of course the HB will come from somebody else's body (does that sound really weird?) But the BB has to come from my own, or I'd be plagiarizing and that's just plain wrong!
The good news is that both can be accomplished while sitting at my computer! How many people can say that about their HBs? I can work on adoption applications for awhile and then writing. Back and forth, back and forth. BB, HB, BB, HB. That has a nice ring to it.
All joking aside, as a 10 year veteran of unsuccessful fertility treatments I feel for you and appreciate your humor.
Whirl--Just wait and match them to the cover, I think?
Debra-- : )
Mariah--I know!! I'm so freaking excited!
Rachel--You're exactly right, and my list has been modified accordingly : )
Lisa--And normal people will never understand how insanely connected to and invested in your works you are!
Tara--Ha! Yes, definitely.
Ren--Just doing my part, right?
Cloth Dragon--I'm doing okay : ) The book has definitely helped, no question.
T. Anne--HA!!! Okay, you win for funniest comment. Home birth indeed!
Andrea--Human babies are definitely harder. And they keep withstanding all of my efforts to edit them.
Carrie--Hot Stuff is utterly unopinionated when it comes to names. It's kinda nice.
Marsha--See, that's the great thing about BBs. I can send them out AND keep them, at the same time!
Candice, I can only imagine. I know how lucky I am to have the two that I do, so I try not to let it get me too down. But I am wishing you the absolute best of luck with both HBs and BBs! You deserve it : )
Then there's the possibility that if you give up trying it'll happen. You see it so often with people who have given up, then adopt! And it happened to two friends of mine who were told they couldn't have children, so they gave up and became pregnant within a couple years.
Congrats on being published in Poland, too. I hadn't heard that news yet.
Book Babies are very exciting!! I hope to have a few of my own someday.
As for human babies, I would love one in about 7 years. Before then, I'd like to concentrate on book babies.
BBs are fun, but they can't smile at you the way HBs can. Just saying. ;)
But honestly, good thinking. I like your list. And I like the virtual BB shower idea; if I had any idea how to throw one, I'd host it for you.
You know, I would never trade my challenges for anyone else's. Like you, I feel blessed to have my beautiful son! I've decided that personal trials are kind of like writing (like how I'm turning this literary? :) You just can't compare yourself to others.
Everyone's challenges are different (even the ones that have similarities), but that doesn't mean they're not equally tough to deal with on a personal level. I really believe the key, as you pointed out, is gratitude. A good support system helps too. And a three book deal with lots of beautiful little BBs can't hurt right? :)
Anyway, I wax philosophical... It seems to be the effect the day is having on me, and now it's beginning to bleed into your blog, so I'm going to go now before I write my third novel. :)
Book Babies are less trouble in the long run--although you lose about the same amount of hair....hm--and, depending on the cover, CAN be cuter than a Human Baby. *nods wisely* Yes...some Human Babies are not as cute as Book Babies. Sad, but true. :P lol
I like that you say this is a "for now" decision. Who knows what the future will bring? I had to make a similar decision about having more children, but for different reasons. (I already have two, thankfully.) And I'm okay with it, now.
So hang in there and have fun with your HBs and your BBs. Think of all the adventures you will have in the coming years!!
And congrats on the publishing in Poland. How cool will that be to have your book in several different languages??
I can't wait to ready your BB's.
As a 31 year old new wife I keep getting the "when are you going to have a baby?" and my favorite "well i can tell by looking at you that you're pregnant so when ru due?"
Um, first off. I just gained 11 lb. since I got married. That is an Oreo Baby not a Human Baby. In eight more months I do not get to push it out and dress it up. I have to get on the elliptical to get rid of this belly.
Next, I have always wanted to adopt. Ever since I saw the Romanian orphans on 20/20 when I was 9. Plus I teach grade school and can tell you for certain that I can love ANY child, perhaps especially the most troubled and least beautiful of them.
Meanwhile, try explaining that to your mother-in-law lol
My prayers are with you and your glorious, noisy kids. Enjoy.
Lora
funny! i love my HB, too...but i think i'm only going to have BB from now on. seriously.
jeannie
Where Romance Meets Therapy
i laughed a lot at this. how you do bring humor to every occasion, even the bittersweet ones! that's a gift.
also... POLISH?! dang.
Ooh, Para ios getting a new sibling!?!? How does Laptop feel about this? Maybe he singes your thighs because you never consult him...? And no, he didn't pay me to do this...nor did he pay my Laptop to force me to say this...cough...
Way to play it cool, Liam. That's the last time I conspire with you.
Of course Para is getting a sibling. You can still tell what the letters are on a few of my keys, so clearly Kiersten needs to subject me to more torture.
This post touched me. And that you can find the humor in what must have been a hard decision speaks to your inner strength.
I am sure you are making the right one for you, for your life, for your family, for now.
and little rectangular booties sound adorable.
I love the thought of BBs versus HBs. I've always said that I'm not ready to have an HB until I'm at least 28 (I'm 23), but from my experience as a BB momma, I know it's a full-time job! (And seriously, my BB has woken me up at night. She can be a little demanding.)
BBs, HBs, or both -- you just have to believe that everything happens as it should. It's the only way to keep your sanity!
No, Laptop! Don't abandon me! Yawn.
I'm just kidding, you know I love you! No, my Laptop is not able to see this right now...I love her too.
And I know a guy who knows a guy who can fix those keys....
I decided a long time ago that I'm just sticking with book babies. I like kids, but I can't see myself ever being a mom. Anyway.
Oh, I have a little something-something for you over at my blog: http://astheplotthickens.blogspot.com/2009/09/holy-networking-blogman.html
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My sis had a tubal pregnancy, and she made the same decision eventually. She did have one more baby though. You have plenty of time (as in you're young -not as in you have nothing to do) for both, if that is what you want.
I hope that someday you get to have another HB when you are ready. As a mom of 2 boys, I held out for 1 more baby for a while. I have since conceded. My husband is grateful, as 2 was our agreement, that I finally decided I'm okay with not having one more little one, and never having a daughter. That is where writing has come in to play for me. My much loved potential daughter's name will now become a much loved character in a book.
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