Alright, now that you've wiped the drool from your face, I thought I'd break it down. You'll notice the numbers attached for your convenience.
1. Laptop. Of course, my faithful companion, without whom I could accomplish nothing. No writing, no wasting hours upon hours every day skulking around online instead of writing, no watching interviews of people with Irish accents, or old Flight of the Conchords clips. Laptop, do you have anything to say?
This is quite possibly your worst post ever.
See? What would I do without him?
2. The outlet. Which is also essential because Laptop's battery lasts about three minutes.
Who's stupid fault is that?
It's true. They can't all be macs.
I hate you.
If you can't say anything nice I'm going to disinvite you from contributing to this post.
Oh. No. The horrors. The horrors. Yawn.
Sarcasm is not an attractive trait in electronics, my dear Laptop.
3. Dr Pepper. Enough said.
4. Popcorn. You'll notice the bowl is empty.
5. Random crap, including but not limited to a notebook for (shockingly enough!) taking notes, whatever book I'm reading at the time, a whole mess of wires and cables, and a stuffed koala bear that has no business whatsoever being there, but that I simply don't care enough to remove.
6. Snow Patrol playing on Laptop. Speaking of which--I get to go to their concert in October! My very first concert! I'm so excited! I'm so excited! I'm so...so...scared! I mean, whoa, channeling Jessie Spano for a minute there. Just excited, not at all scared.
You'll notice that Word is also open in the background. I like to open up my work in progress during the day so that it sits there, blinking at me, mocking my inability to get anything done while Dojo is awake.
7. My favorite feature--the dishwasher! Right in front of me to constantly remind me that I have not, in fact, done the dishes yet today. It's also a really fun activity for my kids when they get annoyed with me to come over and pull it open, smacking me in the stomach or whacking me in the shins. Of course, just to the right is the dishwasher's companion, the sink. Lovely.
She keeps me next to the kitchen sink, for the love of DOS. THE SINK.
Sorry. It's true.
And finally, in another pleasant feature, you'll notice something conspicuously missing from this picture--that's right, no chair! If I want to get anything done during the day I have to stand at the counter. The moment I take Laptop to the couch with me Dojo is climbing on both of us, his body magically transformed into nothing but elbows and knees, viciously finding any soft spots to dig themselves into while he makes his best efforts to break Laptop.
Still, he's cute.
Agreed. Someday I'll have Hot Stuff take a picture of me when I'm actually writing, but all I do is curl up in the corner of our hand-me-down of a hand-me-down couch, typing furiously away while Laptop singes my thighs.
I do that on purpose.
I know, my love. I know.