Wednesday, July 15, 2009

The Mystery of John Green

I happen to be a fan of John Green. It's true. He's a phenomenal writer. He's also a very talented swearer, but that's neither here nor there.

However, something has been bothering me about him. I may or may not be ashamed to admit that I watch his YouTube videos and BlogTV chats whenever I possibly can, like when I should be working, or brushing my daughter's nightmare hair, or, well, yeah. The more I watched, the more I realized there was something...something tickling the edge of my brain but not quite connecting.

Then, as I rode in the car with a young boy singing the Dora theme song, it hit me.


John Green

  • Interesting hair
  • Likes to list things
  • Interacts with his viewers
  • Strangely adorable

Dora the Explorer

  • Interesting hair
  • Likes to list things
  • Interacts with her viewers
  • Strangely adorable

Conclusion: Hank is NOT John Green's only sibling. And, even better, this means John has not only one but three long-lost-siblings, thanks to that special where Dora's mom popped out another couple of magically talk-yelling offspring!

I even have video proof to back up my claims. Watch these two videos and just try to tell me that these two aren't somehow related. AND THEN TRY YOUR HARDEST NOT TO SHOUT EVERYTHING YOU SAY.

(I should also point out that both Dora and John try their hardest to help you learn something through their videos. However, of the two, John is my preferred TALK YELLING person. And if he could somehow incorporate the phrase "Swiper, no swiping!" into his videos, I'm sure he'd win over any hold-out Dora fans.)


Natalie said...

Wow, curiously similar. They even open their eyes more than necessary.

Anonymous said...

Awesome. Simply Awesome

Tomara Armstrong said...

I have never thought about it before... but now that you mention it, it makes perfect sense.

Great post!

Marybeth Poppins said...

That is way too funny! I didn't know who John was...but I found him QUITE entertaining :) I would also be entertained if they made him into a cartoon and he could sing in Spanish? .... or at least say Come on vamanos! (Half in English one word in Spanish???)

Brooke Reviews said...

lol Nice! The evidence is very convincing. I couldn't watch the whole DE video though. :D

Kiersten said...

Marybeth, you should know John. He's awesome.

And Brooke, Dora happens to be my least favorite kiddie-cartoon character. But that's not a reflection on my feelings for Mr. Green.

Virtue said...


I have three points:

1.That Dora episode was the weirdest one yet, but it's also my favourite...

2. A little side story: I worked as a nanny for this family throughout university. I was watching Dora with the youngest kid and Dora kept saying "Do you see the rainbow? Where's the rainbow? Point to the rainbow... and on and on..." One of the older siblings, maybe 5 at the time, later professed to me that she was very worried Dora was blind, because the rainbow was right there... So, apparently kids aren't as dense as the Dora writers think they are...

3.John Green doesn't use the conspicuous props that Dora does, but other than that I believe that they are TOTALLY RELATED.

Kiersten said...

Good points. John certainly does seem to have more regard for his viewers' intellect.

Jessie Oliveros said...

All very good points. However, there is one DISTINCT difference. John Green does not show his midriff like Dora does.

~Jamie said...

I may or not ALSO be ashamed to admit I watch his blogTV's and youtube videos... it's whatevs :)

The Honorable Mayor of Bethville said...

But what did Dora ever do for the promotion of Peep welfare?

Kiersten said...

Jessie, true. Perhaps this is why he's been working out so much lately--gotta look good in those midriff-baring shirts.

And H.M. of B., I think John is a far better humanitarian. But he doesn't have a backpack, backpack...backpack, backpack.

Sarah said...

That's hilarious and very observant of you! Why do I get the feeling that this second sibling of his you've discovered would thrill John to no end?

Mariah Irvin said...

Hmm...interesting comparison. It also seems like his hair gets bigger throughout the episode.

Never Settle said...

I didn't know about John Green before, but I think I will become a regular viewer. Thanks for posting about him!

But this Dora girl... ugh! Even my six year old daughter agrees that if on a one lane path the girl can't find her way to the GIANT BLUE MOUNTAIN RIGHT BEHIND HER (or whatever else is next on her map), then she SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED OUT OF THE HOUSE ALONE! I mean, this girl is an explorer that needs the help of 3 year olds at home? Come on! Who lets a clueless child like that wander the woods all by themselves with a monkey in red boots and a fox that steals things? And stop that dilly dallying! When you THINK you hear Swiper, just go ahead and say, "Swiper no swiping!" three times and be done. I think this girl likes the drama.

Sorry about my rant. Whew. I feel much better now.

~Meira~ said...

wow, okay this revelation has shaken me to the core.
All my beliefs are being questioned.
My head is spinning.
Is... is... is John Green Spanish?

DebraLSchubert said...

Thanks for introducing me to JG. He's got it going on. I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop with dear, old, Sarah-Youbetcha!-Palin. I can't believe anyone, even someone as brainless as her, would quit the governorship for no reason. Being a 'lame duck' is a totally lame reason. Isn't that the platform she ran on in the first place? *grin*

cindy said...

hahah! i was so bummed i missed him at ala chicago. apparently, he was right behind me while i was getting ready to sign in hc booth and i missed him!

Carrie Harris said...

I cannot die happy until I hear John Green yell, "Swiper, no swiping!"

Thanks for that.

Duluk said...

Awesome; now you've got me singing Dora's theme song...not to mention the others. Backpack Backpack; I'm the map I'm the map I'm the MAP!

yum yum yum, delicioso!