Saturday, May 16, 2009

Snip, Snip

I've just finished another round of edits on Paranormalcy. Well, another another round. Or maybe another another another round? I've lost track. But I think it's gone well. I had some pacing issues that I'm fairly certain I've fixed (with the help of some awesome beta readers). I've managed to get it from the finished first draft count of 82,000 words to 72,000 words.

Those poor 10,000 words. What did they ever do to deserve such a violent end? Alas. They were good words, fun words, clever words. But they weren't necessary words. And as much as I loved those scenes, they just didn't move the plot forward. So I sucked it up, pulled the best of what was there and figured out other places I could stick it in, then deleted. And deleted. And deleted.

I have a tendency to be indulgent when I'm writing. Do we really need to see Evie go to a whole day of high school with Lend? No, we don't need to, but it's funny! And fun! And surely other people want to see as much of them flirting and Evie rhapsodizing over lockers as possible, right?

Not when it drags the pace down, unfortunately. My one consolation (besides the fact that it's a better book) is that if it gets published I can have those chapters as bonus material for fans on my website.

Things like this:

“Mr. Pirello, nice to have you back with us,” a middle aged, balding man said.

“Good to be back,” Lend answered. It took me a minute to realize that Pirello must be Lend’s last name. I had never thought to ask.

“And your visitor?”

“This is Evie,” Lend said, and I held up my pass.

The teacher nodded at me and I smiled. I really, really hoped he didn’t ask for my last name. I didn’t have one. So much for pretending to be normal for the day. I sat there, racking my brains for a good one to tell people if they asked. I tried to remember what I had gone by in the foster system. It had been a dumb, made-up last name anyway. “Hey,” I whispered, leaning up to Lend. Class hadn’t started yet, but the room was filling. “I need a last name!”

“You need a last name?”

I shrugged. “Don’t have one.”

“Oh.” He furrowed his brows, thinking. “How about Doe?”

“Yeah, that’s not obvious.”

“Let’s see…Smith?”



I held up a strand of my platinum hair. “Do I look like a Sanchez?”

“Okay…how about Lynn?”

“Evelyn Lynn, yeah, brilliant. Forget I asked, you brat,” I said, hitting him lightly on the shoulder.

“Fine, fine, what about Greenleigh?”

“Hmm. What about just Green? Evie Green, I like it.”

“Good to meet you, Miss Green."

“Likewise, Mister dangit I already forgot your last name.”

Lend laughed. “Pirello.”

“Isn’t that what I said?” I blinked innocently at him.


Mariah Irvin said...

Cutting cute dialogue is so sad! But, like you said, sometimes it must be done.

T. Anne said...

10K? It hurt my heart just to read it.

Renee Collins said...

Good girl. I'm proud of ya. :)

And, yes, you save those scenes for the special features. Your raving fans will appreciate that!

Natalie said...

At least I'VE read it all. And I even loved it all. Pacing schmacing:) Oh wait...I cut 10k from my own MS for the same reason. Never mind.

Megs said...

Way to go! I know that is tough to do. Not only the word count, but the emotions you put into those words as you wrote. But, in the end, I guess it does turn out for the better. :)

P.S. Nice song from the Punktuations!! You know it's good when it gets stuck in your head for the whole evening...

Ashley said...

I loved the scenes when Evie was at school with Lend! It was hilarious. I'm sad you had to cut it out.

Kiersten said...

Me, too, Ash! But I managed to get most of the really good stuff in other places. Plus they have a longer date now ; )

Carrie Harris said...

I know it wasn't easy, but you still deserve a standing O for finishing those edits. So I'm giving you one.

This doesn't change the fact that you are going DOWN, of course. ;)

sraasch said...

Way to go, girly! Be bold! That dialogue banter is oh so cute though :)

Kiersten said...

Carrie, Carrie, Carrie...

Just you wait. The Punktuations! aren't done blowing you out of the water. Not by a long shot.

Kristan said...

:D I love it! Those are the scenes I love to write too, even if they're indulgent. I do hope you get to post them as bonus material someday.