Wednesday, May 20, 2009

New Short Story!

I just finished a new short story. I'm pretty excited about it. It's

I have a short story idea.

Oh, hey, Laptop. You have a story idea?

Yes.

Wow!

Don't sound so surprised. We both know I'm the real talent behind Kiersten Writes.

What's it about? No, no, let me guess. It's about a dashing, handsome thoroughbred of a laptop named...Laptop.

...no...His name is, uh, Toplap. Taplot. Yeah, Taplot. SIR Taplot.

I see. Ooh, is it a steamy romance? Do all of the desktops fall for him? Does he short circuit their hard drives with his stunning good looks and remarkable portability?

Shut up.

No, no, I've got it! It's a story of star-crossed lovers. The stalwart, hardworking laptop and the sleek and haughty iPhone. At first they hate each other, bickering nonstop, engaged in a game of one-upmanship. But they slowly come to realize that their fighting is the only way they can mask the deep, unquenchable desire they have for each other. Finally admitting their feelings, they face unforeseen opposition--after all, she's a glorified phone/mp3 player, and he runs on (shudder) Windows. Will they be able to overcome their opposition and live out their technological dreams with one another, or are their operating systems just too incompatible?

I've changed my mind. It's a horror story. About a computer that figures out how to transfer viruses directly from his keyboard to his owner's brain. And then she short circuits, and her brains drip out her eye sockets, and everyone runs screaming in terror.

What happens after that?

The laptop lives happily ever after.

It'll be a tough sell.

Oh, I think it has broad appeal.

Good luck with that.

Writing the story or developing the supervirus?

Umm, the story?

Oh, yeah. Sure. Thanks.

I'm gonna go...wash my hands.

15 comments:

Natalie said...

You have a talent for horror, Laptop.

Duluk said...

I'll never look at my computer the same way again. My fingers will tremble as they approach the keys. :)

sraasch said...

But Laptop forgot to mention the sequel: owner comes back as a zombie, stumbles into a Best Buy, and infects all other laptops with the virus. Laptops become caught up in a heated war with the zombie-owner. Who will succeed? Who will overcome the virus? Will an antidote be discovered, and if so, which side will be the first to break free of the festering, mind-eating disease?! Tension!

Laptop said...

Sara, your sequel is ridiculous. Of course the computers win.

DebraLSchubert said...

Kiersten, I'd watch my back (and my fingers!) if I were you. You've got a real lulu on your hands.

Sir Taplot, Good luck with the virus thing. Anyone putting up with Kiersten's antics day in and day out deserves more. I wish you Godspeed.

Laptop said...

I always knew you were smart, Debra.

Merc said...

Oh, your computer does that too?

Kiersten said...

Yes. It's very naughty.

Renee Collins said...

Oh Laptop, I've been waiting for you to do this for so long.

You know where to find me when Kiersten is . . . no longer in the way.

Whirl's Flash Memory Stick said...

Together, we could rule the world — or at very least, a virtual mock-up of it...

Mariah Irvin said...

I guess it's not safe to read this site anymore. *Sigh*

My laptop's been giving me looks lately...I don't think I should trust technology.

Megs said...

I assume Laptop is insanely jealous of your talent and wit. He felt he had to totally distract from the real subject of the post. Although I do have to echo Natalie and say he has a talent for horror. (Forget about Swine Flu, eh?)

So, really - what's this new short story? Or...was it hidden in there and I just missed it?

Kiersten said...

Mariah, definitely don't trust it.

Megs, he he, I got sidetracked. It's a sci-fi short. A...weird?...sci-fi short.

Carrie Harris said...

I cannot say "Sir Taplot" without giggling. Is it just me?

Sir Taplot said...

Perv.