I've been thinking lately about what is and is not okay to talk about in a forum like this, and in my writing, and in public.
For example, back in September, I wondered whether or not it was okay to talk about what happened with my ectopic pregnancy. Can I really type fallopian tubes on my blog, or is that too much? Half of the world has them, after all. (Although in my case it is now fallopian tube. Dangit.)
I tend to be a little more open about all things related to the female body--probably a direct result of having three sisters. I mean, what's the big deal about periods? Why are they soooo embarrassing when, once again, half of the world has them at one point or another? I remember an interview with Stephenie Meyer where she commented on people asking her the following: If Edward and the vampire gang freak out when Bella gets a paper cut, how can they handle going to school where at any given time girls will be bleeding? Her response was this: "Eeeew!"
My response was, hey, it's a legitimate question!
However, in thinking about this, I've realized that my comfort with the body only extend to things my own body has/goes through. If I were to read a blog by a man where he started talking about his vas deferens or something, I'd probably throw up.
Kidding.
But I wouldn't keep reading. Unless it was a) really interesting or b) really funny. I can't imagine a type of funny that I would like in that case, though. So why is it okay for me to talk about fallopian tubes?
So much of what we are comfortable reading, writing, and talking about depends on our own personal experiences combined with social taboos. It's also interesting to me that, when periods or other bodily functions do come up in books or film, they're used for a) sexist jokes or b) scatological humor. We're willing to use a lot of things for the shock effect of funny that we otherwise pretend don't happen.
Anyway. In case you were wondering, no, I'm not going anywhere with this. I'm also a little worried to see what search terms hit my blog now that I've used fallopian tubes and vas deferens in the same post. I am, however, already planning on writing a series of essays targeted at women. My titles so far are:
C-Section Scars are Sexy
One Tube, No Brain
and finally, my favorite:
Hey, Universe? You Suck Sometimes. Let's Go Back to Being Friends.
(In case you were wondering, no, I'm not actually writing any of those essays. Mostly because of the one titled, "Motherhood Has Dissolved My Brain.")
(I apologize to any and all readers I have lost by violating social taboos while talking about social taboos.)
(Fallopian tubes! Fallopian tubes! Fallopian tubes!)
(Sorry, couldn't resist. It's such a stupid name...)
25 comments:
I wondered the same thing about the vampires and humans with their periods all through the Twilight series - it got to be distracting, actually.
The great thing about blogs is that you can write whatever you want, but you can also read whatever you want. So if someone doesn't want to read about your Fallopian tubes, they don't have to. Most likely they'll come back tomorrow and read about your fictional characters making out.
I know, Monnik, it's a legitimate question!!
And yeah, I'll probably have to post a kissing scene tomorrow to make up for this post.
I thought the same thing about periods and the blood effect on Meyer's vampires. I mean, to ignore that question is to ignore common sense. And readers hate being treated like they're stupid.
Very interesting, and one I hadn't thought about before. I guess just being a woman in general makes you more open to talking about things like this, because unless it's extremely detailed, I don't care.
I say, if it's funny, write it. And you're an expert at figuring that out. You always make me laugh.
Eeeeew!
kidding. :) I'm all about fallopian tubes. And ovaries. And, as a fellow survivor of ectopic pregnancy, I can say that it is definitely a subject that has been sadly underdeveloped in the humorous essay arena.
"The Day My Innards Exploded"
An Essay by Kiersten White
It amazes me that with 1/2 the world experiencing these things they are taboo. *rolls eyes* People are so weird sometimes. Of course, all the population "goes potty" (euphemism so as not to offend) and yet...also taboo.
If you're not comfortable with discussing male anatomy, maybe it's for similar reasons to men feeling awkward with female anatomy.
I don't feel awkward discussing most things. I'm not sure whether that is from being a counsellor or from being a mother of grown up sons. Either way, I try not to embarrass people unnecessarily.
I got to a stage with my sons when they reached the embarrassable age that before I answered their questions I would say: "Do you really want an answer?" Because they often gave me the "Ewww" response when I answered them simply and honestly!
I'm not even entirely sure why we all have so many hang ups about bodies and nudity. Perhaps it's just a faulty meme.
As the unabashed male reader of your blog and Evil Minion #6, (sorry previous 6, but really, did you have to stand so close to the ledge?), I would like to point out you are talking less about taboo and more about how fundamentally sour the politically correct movement is.
If you take a step backwards, your poor tubes (or lack thereof) is not taboo. But, there is a certain segment of society that views talking about these things in certain ways "inappropriate".
This is group-think for "masking the truth". Double Speak. Lies.
Certain things happen to us, as writers, that change our writing. And writing about those things in self-discovery is the truth.
And sometimes, the truth hurts.
I am so blogging about this topic as soon as I find the time. Evil Minion #6 is Pleased.
I was looking forward to C-Sectio n Scars are Sexy, having had three of them.
I think we need to get over ourselves and more we talk about ourselves the more comfortable it will be.
I have no problem about plumbing talk - whatever the anatomy. I happen to find the human body endlessly fascinating. Humour is always helpful if the subject matter is iffy. Though, generally speaking, it's not the subject matter that's the problem - it's the sensitivities of the audience.
This is your blog and you get to discuss what you like on it and you get to set the tone too.
Although I do have a very funny story to tell about my husband's vascectomy ...
@$%%£^(&£(@^@%%%%%%%£@@@@!!! -
OW! Gags are so uncomfortable!
I agree with being open, but also appropriate. It's amazing what tone of voice and attitude can do to a subject. If treated with some respect, whether with or without humor, then I'm usually fine (particularly if there is purpose and wit to the post/essay/whatever). I usually judge by how I feel during and after the conversation.
I love you, Kiersten. And your fallopian tube.
So glad you posted this.
I had to look up the word
"scatological."
Haha, that Twilight thing got me wondering for a really long time, too. In fact...it kind of still bothers me.
Vas deferens...haha, now *that* is a funny word!
I had to laugh- Fallopian tubes are a stupid name. :) How are you? I feel like I haven't wandered over here in forever. But i read everything you write on google- gotta love that. :) Have a great rest of your week!
Anthony, I do have other male readers...I promise. Well, I mean, I used to...maybe not anymore.
BUT--I picked up not one but two new followers today. Hi, shiny, pretty new followers! Apparently I wasn't too offensive.
Janey--do tell!
Steph--Ah, shucks ; ) I'd say my fallopian tube loves you, too, but then we're DEFINITELY veering into creepy/inappropriate content.
Jessie--so glad to have contributed such an infinitely useful word to your vocab!
McWife--Hey! I'm dandy. Ish.
And the rest of you--I'm really enjoying these comments. It's an interesting thing to think about.
Oh, too funny! And, I'd definitely read 'C-Section Scars are Sexy'!! :-)
Gosh, there's a lot of interest in that one...maybe I really should write it...
Haha, oh my, biology is just so much fun, isn't it?
Here again, Bevie is bringing up the rear (let's not talk about that anatomy right now, though).
I just wanted to say, Thanks Kiersten. Just looked up vas deferens.
I threw up.
Well, no. Not really. Thought I should, though.
One can learn more about the human body from reading blogs than was ever taught in my biology class in high school.
If I can talk about poop and all the other clever names for it, I'm sure you can talk about fallopian tubes! Great blog!
www.oneshetwoshe.blogspot.com
Hey Mariel, thanks ; ) Gorgeous picture, by the way!
Ha ha!
thank. you.
I talk waaaay to much about hormones and "that" time of the month on my blog, but when it consumes my life and makes me feel mild-to-moderately crazy, what else am I supposed to do?
Writing is my therapy, and thus, people will likely be reading about things they may or may not have any desire to read about every 24-26 days or so. Sorry. They've been warned.
Hormones! Hormones! Hormones!
Infertility!
Infertility!
Infertility!
Wow, that feels much, much better.)
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