Monday, March 16, 2009

Quick! Quick!

Now for the funny! We need funny, right?

Stephanie and I are going to start a band. How cool is that? SO COOL. That's kind of the whole point. Of course, neither of us really play instruments. And we live on opposite sides of the country. And I don't know about her, but I have no idea how to write music. However, none of this is a problem, because the band is for after we are both published and have loving, devoted groups of fans, who will love our music because they love us.

I know, awesome, huh?

Luckily Steph's husband is seriously musically talented, so I'm pretty sure we're set. I've even written our first song, and, for the first time ever, I'm giving you a sneak peek.

The scene: A couple of years in the future, when we are both fabulously famous and well-loved authors. The setting: Our websites. A video.

"This is a little number we like to call 'Murder Your Darlings'."

Cue Jarrod, playing all of the instruments, with different shots of him doing each one, and Stephanie, rocking out on whatever she is playing (or pretending to play). After appropriately awesome length of time, cut to Kiersten, singing (fortunately no one cares that my voice isn't solo-worthy). Intersperse generously with shots of Stephanie, who will also be the actress for the video, and Jarrod in all of his musical awesomeness. Stephanie shown through the course of a tumultuous affair with hot celebrity of her choice.

I love you in the present tense,
I loved you in the past
but our affair of adverbs
was just too good to last

Truly, Wildly, Passionately
Lees were all we had
I was really into you
You were really bad
Quickly, Suddenly, Totally
Our passion burned too hot
Like adverbs littering my pages
Last our love could not.

I love you in the present tense
I loved you in the past
but our affair of adverbs
was just too good to last

Softly, gently, thoroughly
our kisses lingered on
drawn out by our adverbs
the actions just a con
Nothing happened simply
all verbs were imprecise
And while I loved to modify
it's not actually nice.

I love you in the present tense
I loved you in the past
but our affair of adverbs
was just too good to last

Truly truly truly
I'll love you till I die
sweetly sweetly sweetly
I'll try desperately not cry
And fill my life with useful verbs
verbs that need no aid
Remember you fondly,
I'll never let you fade

(Lee, lee, lee ooooh, lee lee lee...)

Final shot of Stephanie, wiping a tear away and smiling as she croons the final, sweet refrain of "lee, lee, lee."

Now we just need to get famous.

Unfortunately, we also need a band name! I'm open to suggestions.


JaneyV said...

How have you posted so much in what feels to me like a few hours? How? Where is the time going? Have I been in a coma?

#1 - your favourite beautiful place is absolutely stunning and it is now officially on my "must visit" list.

#2 = Hot Stuff cracks me up. Personally I hate things that begin with "C" and end with "auliflower".

#3 BIG HUG! It was a crappy crappy thing and I know that it must be so hard. I'm glad the edges of the hole are getting smaller. With time the hole will disappear leaving only a faint scar to remind you. Six months is not so long - except when you are living it. Remember you have friends. xxx

#4 Awesome! I'm going to be your first fan!


Renee Collins said...

ZOMG! You guys are going to be HUGE!

sraasch said...

Can I be president of your fan club? I'll make t-shirts.

Erin said...

i think you should post a list of good verbs that don't need adverbs to help the rest of us out.

writtenwyrdd said...

That song would rock at a convention!

Would the band name Alpha Bitches be too risque for you two? Probably, I'm thinking. Well, onto Plan B: The Poisoned Pens.

No? Well, I'm out of ideas. But I love your ability to write funny.

Carrie Harris said...

Can I be in the band?!? I play the drums, and I'm addicted to adverbs. Desperately, magnificently, wildly addicted. Addictedly, even.

lotusgirl said...

Head bangs to that, baby! Cause I know it will ROCK! As you and Stephanie do! Peace out!

lotusgirl said...

I just have to comment on "Empty" and since I can't there I do it here. My eyes are all misty. That was beautifully stated.

Kiersten said...

Janey--I'm insane, that's how ; )

I'm so glad we already have fans!

And Carrie--I think addictedly may very well get you in. I'll have to clear it with Steph, of course, but I've got a good feeling about this...

WW--thanks for the suggestions ; ) Alas, the B word is one I'm not allowed to say...

Lotus--Thank you ; )

Anthony said...

I have a suggestion for a band name, but I can't post it to your blog.

Kasie West said...

bwaaaaa ha ha ha ha ha !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kiersten said...

Alas, it's not going to win then, Anthony.

Janet C. said...

Here's my lame attempt at naming your band -

Stephten Wolf

Naturally, the Steph is for Stephanie and the ten is for Kiersten. The wolf - well it's a great verb to replace eat quickly (nasty adverb) OR it could be that you're traveling in a pack (band).

K - basically, I've got nothing :)


Mariah Irvin said...

I wish I could play the drums! I play piano, which provides Chris Martin moments, but I like hitting things.

My band will be called Rude Compliment!

Yours should have something to do with grammar or punctuation....

Let me brainstorm...

Stephanie Perkins said...

Oh Kiersten. I love your clever brain so much, I kinda want to make out with it.

If it weren't, you know, pink and gooey.

Kiersten said...

Janet--at least you're trying! I've come up with squat so far.

Meaning nothing, not that I want to name our band Squat, because, eew.

Mariah, your band can totally tour with us.

Steph--Since no one's ever seen it, we don't know for SURE that my brain is pink. Still, probably not good for making out with.

Megs said...

Ooh, well, let's see; here goes nothing...

Gray Grammar Matter
Punct(uation) Rock
One-ders - oh shoot, that one's been taken...
Comma comma comma
Grammy Grammar (uh, maybe not :P)

I'm sure I'll dream up something just crazy enough to be perfect tonight, and I'll have to write it down at 2 in the morning or risk forgetting it. :) But there's some starters...

Kiersten said...

Oooh, Megs! I'm thinking the PUNKtuations! That just might're awesome ; )

Leon Basin said...

Hey, how are you doing? Hope all is well.

jessie said...

Hey not fair. You can't post sad and then post funny so close together. Sorry about your sad. Time, right? Time is all it takes. But yes, it's hard to see the end of time when you are in the hole. And your band? You and Stephanie are nuts, and I would definitely watch your music video.

Kiersten said...

Leon--I'm dandy, thanks for asking ; ) How are you?

Jessie--I know, I'm just sneaky like that. But I'm glad you like our band! He he he...