The Punktuations: The Interview: Uncensored: Colonized

"So, Kiersten, thanks for being with us today."

"Oh, sure, my pleasure. Stephanie sends her regrets; she'd be here, but she actually tries to get stuff done during the day. Weird, huh?"

"Very. Now, tell me. I've listened to this album and I'm going to say it right now: it's brilliant. Capital B Brilliant. It's changed my life. Forget Kanye--truly your band is the voice of our generation. What was your inspiration?"

"As a writer and also the lyricist for The Punktuations!, obviously I've always had a love affair with the English language. But the real genius in this album came from my blog readers."

"You must have very intelligent blog readers!"

"Well, obviously--I mean, they're reading my blog, aren't they? They'd have to be awesome. And with the titles they suggested, this album really wrote itself."

"I wanted to spotlight just one song, but I couldn't pick--there wasn't a single track that I didn't think was my favorite when I was listening to it."

"A little overwhelming, huh?"

"Definitely. Why don't you just run through the titles of the songs, and then you can give us some of your favorite lyrics?"

"I'd love to, Bob. Can I call you Bob?"

"Actually, my name's Michael."

"Alrighty then, Bob, let's start at the very beginning. We debated whether or not to go with a self-titled debut album. However, since we were already wildly famous through our viral videos, we figured we didn't need the name recognition. So we went for another play on a English term, and came up with HYPErbolic. We thought it was fitting, given the huge expectations surrounding the album.

"So, with HYPErbolic: The Punktuations!, we were ready to go. I'll just go straight through the playlist. I'd sing them, but, well, you listened to the album. It's really more about the words and the music than my voice."

"Clearly."

HYPErbolic

1. Comma, Chameleon
2. The Subject of My Predicate-ment
3. A Fine Figure (of Speech)
4. Language of Love (Baby, Don't Say Ain't)
5. My Love for You is IN ALL CAPS
6. Grammarians, Librarians
7. Hit Me, Baby, One More Rhyme
8. Don't End Our Love with a Question Mark
9. Split My Infinitive
10. Total Ellipse of the Heart
11. Born to Run-on
12. Every Exclamation Has its Point
13. Independent Clauses (Whole without You)
14. Passive Was Our Love*
15. The Best is Yet to Comma**
16. Yellow Subjunctive
17. I'll DIE if You Don't Love Me (The Hyperbole Song)**

So, obviously, it's a long album. We just had so much fabulous material to choose from."

"What about the hidden track?"

"Oh, he he, you found that, did you?"

"Yeah. 'The Mongeese are Ultimately Culpable'? My mind is still spinning--I can't, it just doesn't--wow."

"Well, we wanted to reward our listeners who found it. I kind of consider it our equivelent of Paul Is Dead."

"It will certainly create some conspiracy theories."

"Awesome. And, of course, I can't talk about the album without thanking my fabulous, FABULOUS readers. Please see the comments in this post and you'll see the inspiration for every single song on here."

"I will, definitely. Now, how about you leave us with just the chorus to one of your songs before we're out of time?"

"Sure. Let's see, how about the Hyperbole Song?

"If you don't love me I will die
The sun will fall out of the sky
the world will end, we won't survive
Apart we cannot stay alive.

You're the hottest guy in the universe
Life before you was an empty curse
No one alive is better than you
You're like a god, I swear it's true."

"So, you know, just channeling our teenage selves, when everything was THE BEST THING EVER or THE WORST THING EVER. Fun stuff. Thanks for having me today, Bob, and thanks again to all of my great readers. I'd give you more lyrics, but this interview has already taken up a ridiculous amount of my time today and I've got other procrastinating to accomplish."

"Thanks again, Kiersten! Good luck to you and Stephanie!"

"Rock on, Bob. Rock on."

"It's Michael."

*Contributed by Anonymous
**Contributed by Matt