Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Creature in the Dark

I curl up into a ball, motionless. Barely daring to breathe, I keep my eyes squeezed shut, hoping against hope it will work. Maybe he's like the T-Rex in Jurassic Park. If I don't move, he won't be able to see me. And then I think, how on earth did a freaking paleontologist know how a T-Rex sees? Focus, I need to focus. Absolutely still. I will him to leave, to find another victim.

"Mama? I wanna watch a moofie!"

Don't respond, I think. Just don't do anything. He could decide to climb back into his crib and go back to bed. Stranger things have happened. Like Lady in the Water. How did that movie happen?

FOCUS. Don't move.

"Mama! I wanna watch a moofie! Come on, Mama. Mama?"

This tactic isn't working. Clearly he's not related to the T-Rex, although his biting and scratching skills put the ancient predator to shame. "Go ask Daddy," I mutter, willing myself to hold on to sleep.

"I wanna watch a moofie!"

"I know. Go. Ask. Daddy."

There's an interminable silence; every nerve is tensed, waiting, hopeful. And then I feel it--a pudgy little hand on my back, patting me affectionately.

"I love you, Mama!"

He wins every time.

14 comments:

lotusgirl said...

LOL! You've captured it completely.

Whirlochre said...

You've moofed me to tears...

Never Settle said...

Ah! This pulls at my heart strings! Very creative. :o)

Renee Collins said...

Lady in the Water. LOL

*sigh* Oh, M. Night. Where are you?

candicekennington said...

You've captured my every morning ritual. :)

Natalie said...

Hmm, I wonder if our monsters are related. Maybe distantly. Mine says he wants watch a "moobie."

Christina Farley said...

I love your blog and your funny sense of humor. This post was halarious! My little ones are too adorable to resist too.

Matty Watty said...

Sometimes, one must wonder at the cunning powering such a motion.

Kayleigh said...

Awwww! Haha. That brought a smile to my face, Kiersten.

sraasch said...

How DID "Lady in the Water" happen?

Aerin said...

yup, we moofie here, too. And the kidlings' father and I play possum as long as we can.

Captain Hook said...

Are you sure you don't live at my house? Although here there's no "Daddy" to shove it off on.

Megs said...

ooh, he knows just how to play his cards. I couldn't resist that either. Cleverly written; I loved your thought process! :)

the Lola Letters said...

Ahhhhh ha ha ha ha!
sheesh.
genius.