There's something in my head. I don't know much about it, except that it's heavy, and dull, and has a very mean sense of humor. For example, it thinks it's especially funny to crawl past my mush brain and sit right on top of the backs of my eyes, making them weigh more, and more, until I can no longer think or see straight. Yesterday it was so insistent I ended up giving in and going to bed at 8:30.
Today, knowing I'd like to write a funny blog post, it's burrowed straight through my gray matter to the part of my brain that regulates cleverness and is scooping out big glopping handfuls of brain to make a nice little hollow nest for itself.
I think it's also in cahoots with my children and has been bribing them to wake up in the wee dark hours of the morning and force me to get up out of bed EVERY SINGLE NIGHT FOR OVER A WEEK. I shudder to think what it's bribing my children with...perhaps my frontal lobe?
I'm not quite sure where this conspiracy is leading, or what the true purpose or nature of my brain beast is, but no doubt it's something sinister...
UPDATE: Thanks to a modern medical technological miracle, I am now able to provide you with a picture that looks straight through my skull and gives you a glimpse at the problem.
All I can say is, STOP EATING MY BRAIN!!!