Friday, February 6, 2009

Because It's a Bad, Bad Letter

The other day we were walking home from the library when Nayna said, "Why can there be no peases here?"

I slowed, trying to figure out what she meant. No pieces? No pieces of what? "What are you talking about, Nayna?"

She repeated herself. "Why can there be no peases here?" And this time she pointed. To this:



"Oh!" I said, as peases finally clicked. "Well, you see, Nayna, around here we really, really hate the letter P."

That's right. You know the town in England, the one that just banned apostrophes? Well, we're doing them one better:

NO MORE P.

Effective immediately, this letter is no longer welcome on my blog. If you cannot refrain from using it in the comments section, I will be forced to ban you.

Now if you'll excuse me, I was awake half the night with Dojo and I really need a Dr Eer.

UPDATE: Nevermind. I've just realized that publishing couldn't happen without the letter P. And I really don't want to change Paranormalcy's title to Aranormalcy.

P is officially pardoned, and I'm going to take down all of those signs I see in the city!

22 comments:

fairyhedgehog said...

Well, it's not like I use it a lot so I'm sure I can manage without it.

See, that wasn't hard.

Bad letter, we don't need you!

Crazy McWife said...

That's horrifying- they banned apostrophes? How can that not ADD to confusion? It's no longer St Paul's Square, beloning to St. Paul, but now it belongs to St. Pauls. LOL I'm not really OCD or anything, but that majorly bugs me! And I think a Dr. Eer sounds good right about now too!

Sarah Laurenson said...

If I ost a comment here, will you rely? ;-)

I like this idea, a lot.

JaneyV said...

Are you sure that it's a blanket "no P's allowed"? Perhaps it's requesting you refrain from peeing?

Natalie said...

Um, you used one. Isn't that I little hybocritical?

Kiersten said...

I used it before the ban took effect.

Natalie said...

Fshh, whatever. I guess you are the cult leader. I knew there had to be a catch eventually.

Bevie said...

But Kiersten, it's such an oular letter. Think of all the things that require it.

My Aunt Cile used to make me oy seed cake. I ate it while sitting on my orch, watching the orcuine climbing the olar tree. Remember the lay, Orgy and Bess? What about ork and beans? Or my most favorite sea animal, the oroise? Surely you can find a lace for it? Don't treat it like an auer.

Lease?

Beside, you won't be able to use arenthetical statements any more.

Kiersten said...

(Oh, won't I?)

lotusgirl said...

I was going to call you on your "ket" but obviously you are above the new law.

We just bow and scrae to your every whim!

Don't you just love the way kids see the world?

Kiersten said...

Okay, okay, I shouldn't hold you all to standards I can't maintain. I took it out.

Bunzie said...

Wow. I'm not at all excited to see that funny little girl next week. Let's just hope I don't go into labor on our visit...Dr's orders.

Lady Glamis said...

I thought she meant "peases" as in "pleases" - meaning why can't they say no parking any time, PLEASE. That really would make the sign nicer, wouldn't it?

:)

Erin said...

hah! that is hilarious.

.s. lets make lindsey go into labor so we can see her cute baby sooner.

Renee Collins said...

Ah, the mind of a child. :) Cute story, Kiersten!

ahem, I want you all to notice that the forbidden letter was not used in the writing of this comment. So there.

Kayleigh said...

Haha, that took me quite a while to figure out what Dr Eer was. Sad.

Was there really a town in England that banned aostrahes? Weird....

Tongue twister time: Eter Ier icked a eck of ickled eers, a eck of ickled eers Eter Ier icked....

...bahahaha. Oh, how funny I find myself. Whether anyone else does is a different story.

Sarah Laurenson said...

I see someone beat me to the Peter Piper example.

No publishing, no printing and tying instead of typing. I'm glad you relented.

Christina Farley said...

Halarious! Looking through the eyes of child really lets us see things different.

Whirlochre said...

I want to oo oo this suggestion — but I can't.

Kasie West said...

Phew. I was so glad to read the update. I don't think I can refrain from my "P" usage and I would hate to be banned from your site because of it.

Dave King said...

Shades of Oulipo !!

sraasch said...

Does this also mean that you're going to ban little stick men and 2-D bicycles? (Because, you know, of "Pedestrian" and "Cycling" signs...) Seems a little unfair to the little stick men.