Subtitle: "The Courtship of Lady Gwen"
(Subtitle furiously crossed out)
By Twelve-Year-Old Kiersten (Original spelling and emphases preserved)
Chapter One: Dragon! (Written in horrible cursive, with little circles to dot the end of the exclamation mark)
"Aye, that Gwen (furiously crossed out) Sunni (furiously crossed out) Eliseth's a pretty one, might I say," panted a peasant to another, "you can bet she won't be single long!"
"Oh, Simon, why do you even care? It's not like we have any importance in their eyes. Besides, why not keep your eyes on some more eligible maidens?" Adam replied.
"Oh, Adam, look, there's Meagan!" Simon taunted.
"Oh, you!"
A ways away from the fields of grain where the peasants worked, a fair maiden sat talking to her horse, surrounded by trees of all kind, the sun's rays shining through the leaves to make all sorts of designs on the forest floor.
Humming to herself, Gwen (crossed out) Sunni (crossed out) Eliseth stroked her creme colored horse. "Oh, Buttercup," she said, "You are my only friend." Singing a very sad tune and stroking buttercup, she failed notice the great shadow that passed over the sun.
Back in the fields, the peasants were roasting in the June heat. They all gasped as a cold wind poped out of nowhered, the stoped, then came again. Suddenly Simon yelled, "Dragon!" Peasants ran screaming every wich way, trying to avoid the ferociace flames, grabbing for them at every turn. They were so frightend they did not even notice the sudden sheets of rain, the signature of the dragon Dagmort. In fact, they failed to notice Dagmort leave, and the shrill cut off scream that followed.
Simon fumbled around the waste in the dark with the pounding rain, two names flashing in his mind. Adam and Meagan!
Meagan, stumbling in the utter chaos and confusion caught her foot on a root, tripped, and blacked out.
Adam, trying not to lose his mind strained his eyes against the utter darkness and rain. Scanning the area, he was about to look elswhere, when he suddenly saw a form, groaning and lying on the ground. Running over, he looked, and moaned.
Coming soon: Chapter Two: A Fiery Cage
19 comments:
I liked the "cold wind that poped out of nowhere." Who knew that a Catholic religious leader could become a verb!
"I'm going to pope you in the butt!"
"The car poped up in my blind spot as I was driving."
"I'm going to pope the popecorn (oops, popcorn...haha)"
Writing action at 12:) At least I think it's action...
Kayleigh, you made me laugh! I especially liked popecorn. I think you should market it! ; )
Natalie, I'm not really sure what it is...
I don't know what ferociace flames are but I know I'm scared of them.
a cold wind poped out of nowhered, the stoped, then came again
What I love most about this is that you were clearly really excited writing it. You were a very talented 12 year old.
Haha! Wait a minute, are you Stephanie Meyers?
"you can bet she won't be single long!"
ha!
you were only 12? really?
I suddenly had this awful vision of what "peasants roasting in the June heat" must look like...and it wasn't good.
But seriously, go you for leading the story with action! And! A dragon!
Janey--you're sweet. And I, too, would hate to meet ferociace flames.
Kristina--don't tell.
Rychelle, yes, just twelve. Clearly I knew how things worked.
AC--Ha! Poor peasants! You're awesome. And yeah, apparently I instinctively knew to start a story with no background. Unfortunately I lost that somewhere along the way, since the first chapter of the first book I wrote as an adult was SOLID BACKSTORY. Funny how that worked, eh?
Of course, at least now I know how to actually END a story instead of just stopping, lol.
LOL
What a great story. Lots of action and interesting characters, inclduing roasting peasants. I think if you edit it down now, it might become a picture book. And why not?!
I love that the flames were grabbing for them at every turn. This is truly a find. I wish I could find some of my old stories, but alas my mom is the ultimate de-junker (her self imposed title), and she loves to throw everything away :(
So great. I personally want to see what "ferociace" flames look like. But, I actually thought that the rain as a dragon's signature sounds kinda cool.
Also, Instinct! I spotted it there on the side. Sounds like it's gonna be good. :)
Ha ha! Did you write that in Mrs. Bennion's class? It seems to me we had to write a dragon story that last year, cause I have one too. I love it, especially because of the original spelling.
Kayleigh, you are hilarious.
This has many great momnents to commend it.
And Buttercup deserves her own mini-series.
Awwwww. How whimsical! That made me smile.
You are much braver than me. I would never in a bazillion years post anything I wrote that long ago.
And now, my RANT. As Official FOLLOWER (CULTIST) NUMBER TWO, despite this lofty designation, I have been DROPPED off the follower graphic line-up. DROPPED! Like I was some wanna-be fan girl who like joined yesterday or something!
(sob)
I love that you chose the name Eliseth over Gwen or Sunni. Is that like a combo of two names, like Renee and Esme (furiously crossed out) I mean Elizabeth and Seth?
Hey I am back on the follower line-up!
All is right in the world.
Well, except I do not have my own copy of Flash to read, but I will take what crumbs come my way.
Aw, haha, thanks Megs. I felt pretty good about that comment as I wrote it in my psychology class, not listening to personality traits and whatever else I was supposed to be learning.
Sarah--ha! Probably not. I'm pretty sure from vague memories that the plot was impossibly convoluted.
Candice--that's sad : (
Renee--you may qualify for a sneak peek, since your party was what unleashed the torrent in the first place...
Kasie--hmm, no, but that was a good guess ; ) I think I probably just thought it sounded romantic.
Kayleigh, your time was well spent on such an awesome comment.
Megs, I'm thinking that was about the time this was written. Good stuff.
Anthony, I just blocked some of my imaginary followers. Your spot is well-deserved.
Whirl, best of all was the cast of characters, which included Bayaad, the great (and bad tempered) war horse of sir Rowth, and Horse, Sir Groms horse (whom he neglected to name.)
Seriously, I even used parenthesis then. And whom correctly, what's up with that
LOL (but like, dying of laughter) at Kayleigh's comment.
Man, what a great story. I think you should revise Dagmort and see if Michelle can sell it!
Post a Comment